Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

Joel hasn't put me in a film in a couple years. Momma's gotta eat.
I know I shouldn't watch Michael Bay films, but I do it anyway. His characters are always so empty and soulless. They seem to be cartoon versions of human beings, talking fast, loud, and saying things that make little to no sense. I realize how dumb this sounds considering that the "Transformers" franchise is based on a line of of toys and the catoon made to sell those toys. At least the old show had a heart, and, oddly, was not just a reason to destroy everything in its path. I was sad to see how many new faces (or voices) showed up to waste good talent in this third installment of an already weak, but marketable, franchise. Did you not see the first two movies, Frances Mcdormand? John Malkovich? Alan Tudyk? Leonard Nimoy? And why did Michael Bay find it necessary to put Bill O' Reilly in this film? In the past few years it seems family entertainment has become the new standard of film making. So, it's a shame to see a film marketed toward children become this juvenile and mindless.


Grade: F

Watching this will probably make you stupid. I wouldn't do it.

Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Frances McDormand, Peter Cullen (voice)
Director: Michael Bay
Writer(s): Ehren Kruger
RT: 154 torturous min.
Rating: PG-13 for intense prolonged sequences of sci-fi action violence, mayhem and destruction, and for language, some sexuality and innuendo

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