Pompeii (2014)

This was such a disaster of a disaster film, I was surprised not to see Roland Emmerich's name on it. Instead, Paul W. S. Anderson (3 "Resident Evil" films) directed this poor excuse for historical fiction, and instead of being the epic he obviously wanted it to be, it was just an epic waste of time. It took three people to write this goofy and horrifically unbelievable script, though I'm not completely positive it wasn't written by those hypothetical monkeys at their typewriters. On the bright side, everything is so lost in the cartoony CGI, that you hardly notice the scripting issue, because your eyes are busy envying blind people.

Kit Harrington is the film's lead, Milo, a Celt whose entire village is slaughtered in front him when he is child, and he later becomes a slave, forced into Gladitoring (that isn't a word!). His performance is one note, and full of complete awful. It wasn't as bad as Kellan Lutz in "Hercules" (by far the worst performance of this short year, so far), but coupled with the piss poor script, it isn't good in any way. Anderson also manages to waste a considerable amount of talent, Carrie-Anne Moss and Jared Harris among the roster. I'm not sure why Kiefer Sutherland was in this, but it surely isn't the first time he did something this far below his standards. I really wish that the Volcano scene would have happened roughly an hour and a half earlier.

Grade: D-
3D: Really, don't.
Easter Egg: No

Starring: Kit Harrington, Carrie-Anne Moss, Emily Browning
Director: Paul W.S. Anderson
Writer(s): Janet Scott Batchler, Lee Batchler, Michael Robert Johnson
RT: 98 min
Rating: PG-13 for intense battle sequences, disaster-related action and brief sexual content

Only Lovers Left Alive (2014)

I don't say this easily, but "Only Lover Left Alive" may be my favorite Jim Jarmusch film. I know! With "Mystery Train", "Ghost Dog", and "Coffee and Cigarettes" all in his filmography, that sounds ludicrous. I assure you, nevertheless, that even if it isn't your favorite, it may rank up there for any for any Jarmusch fan. His script is darkly comic and excellently written. Yorick Le Saux's cinematography is the most beautiful, and and brilliantly framed, of Jarmusch's entire career, including the stunning "Down By Law". Tom Hiddleston and Tilda Swinton are so perfect together as Adam and Eve, a vampire couple who have been together for centuries. Their chemistry is undeniable, and their performances are the best have put on screen. So muted and so bare, with a wealth of depth. This is not only Jarmusch's best film, but possibly my favorite vampire film released in years. Possibly decades.

Grade: A
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No

Starring: Tom Hiddleston, Tilda Swinton, Mia Wasikowski
Director: Jim Jarmusch
Writer(s): Jim Jarmusch
RT: 123 min
Rating: R for language and brief nudity

RoboCop (2014)

The biggest problem with Jose Padilha's remake of "RoboCop" is the fact that, at its heart, it is a really boring movie. It is a very mild mannered action movie, that offers a couple of decent shootouts, and a couple of throwaway references to the original film (my favorite being Jackie Earle Haley summoning Bixby Snyder), but that is it. The story manages to focus too heavy on Alex Murphy's family, and makes them a facet in every decision of the film. Their mere presence drags the entire movie to a halt in many situations. Joel Kinnaman doesn't fare too well as Alex Murphy either. He felt more natural in the suit than out of it, because out of the suit, his monotonous voice and robotic emotions didn't work. Thankfully, most of the supporting cast picked up his slack, and made the film mostly bearable. Gary Oldman as Dr. Norton, the man who builds RoboCop, is predictably excellent, as is Samuel L. Jackson as a corporate stooge/media talking head. Michael K. Williams, on the other hand, isn't given enough to do. He spends most of the movie getting shot, or saying stupid lines like, "At least you're the right color." And, "No, bad cop, RoboCop." You know what? I take it back. The biggest problem with Jose Padilha's remake of "RoboCop" was wasting Michael K. Williams.

Grade: C-
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: The original "RoboCop" theme plays at the very end of the credits.

Starring: Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton
Director: Jose Padilha
Writer(s): Joshua Zetumer - Original Film: Edward Nuemeier & Michael Miner
RT: 108 min
Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of action including frenetic gun violence throughout, brief strong language, sensuality and some drug material

Vampire Academy (2014)

WOW! This film was a misguided attempt to capitalize on "Twilight", while dropping a couple of mocking references to it. Director Mark Waters, who, somehow, is also the director of the highly superior "Mean Girls", gives a movie that feels like he slapped it together in a rush, and got the Weinsteins to stick their names on it. His brother David wrote a flat script that has severe pacing issues, and gives his actors nothing to work with. Even normally great actors, such as Gabriel Byrne, seem to be stuck going nowhere in this travesty of a film. The team of Zoey Deutch and Lucy Fry often feel like they are competing with each other to see who can give a blander and more monotonous performance. They are so unbelievable in their characters, that you never feel either of them are in danger, despite what you see on screen. Thus rendering the film completely lifeless. The lone bright spot belonged to Sarah Hyland as Byrne's daughter, who is constantly over-excited, and gives as much energy as she can to the film. Sadly, her efforts are wasted, because she can't make up for the rest of the cast.

Grade: F
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No

Starring: Zoey Duetch, Lucy Fry, Sarah Hyland
Director: Mark Waters
Writer(s): Daniel Waters - Novel: Richelle Mead
RT: 104 min
Rating: PG-13 for violence, bloody images, sexual content and language

25 Films #3

#51: That Awkward Moment

#52. Labor Day (2013) 

Jason Reitman's newest offering is decent, but comes off as a more well-made version of a Nicholas Sparks film. Kate Winslet gives an emotional performance that may have actually saved it from dropping into an episode of "Guiding Light".

Grade: C+

#53: At Middleton (2013)

This was a cute romantic comedy about two parents falling in love during a college campus visit, that was a bit on the bland side. Andy Garcia and Vera Farmiga mesh well together, but are given a script that often becomes too predictable, and is completely inoffensive in every way. Director Adam Rogers does take complete advantage of the beautiful Washington State and Gonzaga campuses that he uses for the fictional Middleton University.

Grade: B-

#54: Welcome to the Jungle (2013)

Despite some having some truly, absurdly funny moments up front, Rob Meltzer's survival comedy loses itself in its own premise during the second act. It was a great joy to watch Jean-Claude Van Damme (I know! Two Van Damme movies in a month's span!) spoof his own tough guy image during his time on screen. It is so nice to see an aging action star have this much fun with his career revival.

Grade: C+

#55: Grand Piano (2013)

Director Eugenio Mira has done more than just create a Hitchcock knock off with his latest film, he has made a tense and entertaining flick that is as good as almost any thriller today. Elijah Wood carries the story beautifully, and John Cusack, who does mostly voice-over work, is expertly menacing. The camera work is fluid, the music, provided from the on camera orchestra, is exciting, and the story is engrossing. If you get a chance to see this, you should.

Grade: A-

#56: The Lego Movie

#57: Argo (2012)   *Rewatch

This Best Picture winner made it to #11 on my 20 favorites of 2012, and it is still has thrilling and amusing as the first time I watched it. Ben Affleck had proved to be one of the finest film makers of this generation, and has absolutely matured as an actor (even if "Runner Runner" was awful). He put together an impressive roster of actors to handle the ensemble work, and they knock it out of the park.

Grade: A

#58: The Artist (2011)   *Rewatch

From start to finish this is a wonderfully entertaining film that does nothing but put a smile on your face. Michel Hazanavicius silent movie about the death of silent movies is perfectly shot, brilliantly acted, and excellently written. If you're not lame enough to hate silent films, this is not a film you should pass up.

Grad: A+

#59: The King's Speech (2010)   *Rewatch

Despite Tom Hooper's awkward framing, and Danny Cohen's sometimes unwatchable cinematography, "The King's Speech" is a well acted, and decently written film. It is a slice of life biopic that carries a lot of emotional weight, and Colin Firth carries that weight quite well.

Grade: B+

#60: The Hurt Locker (2009)   *Rewatch

This was actually even better than I remember. Kathryn Bigelow focuses her film on the mental toll that war can take. It is an unflinching, gut-wrenching look at an adrenaline junkie who works in Iraq dismantling bombs, and his inability to connect with anyone or anything. Jeremy Renner is perfect in this, and Anthony matches his intensity pound for pound. This wasn't my favorite film of 2009, but it certainly was a fine choice for best picture.

Grade: A

#61: Slumdog Millionaire (2008)    *Rewatch

Danny Boyle's look at the child slave market in India is a visceral experience, and a flight of fancy. He, co-director Loveleen Mandan, and cinematographer Anthony Dod Mantle capture the underside of the country with a stark realism that is tough to watch at times. His cast is impeccable, and they bring a young exuberance to the film that infects the viewer to their core.

Grade: A

#62: No Country For Old Men (2007)   *Rewatch

This movie is perfect. PERFECT!

Grade: A+

#63: Freezer (2013)

This was a middling thriller about a man who is kidnapped, and locked in a freezer by Russian gangster. You are stuck with Dylan McDermott with just about every frame, which is nice if you're a fan of his, but he doesn't carry the film very well. There a few twists that are very predictable, and a bit of decent violence, but this an automatically forgettable film.

Grade: C

#64: A Field in England

#65: Nurse 3D (2013)

First, Paz De la Huerta is such a depressingly awful actress, and should never be given a starring vehicle ever again. Secondly, everyone in this film doesn't do anything to try to rise above her level. Thirdly, every line of Douglas Aarniokoski and David Loughery's script is so shockingly bad, that you have no choice but to laugh at them. This is truly on the fast track to the worst of the worst lists.

Grade: F

#66: A Fantastic Fear of Everything (2012)

As comical and imaginative as this movie was, it had some story problems and few moments that dragged a little. It was well directed, and a lot of fun for most of the run. Simon Pegg is wonderfully charming as the film's lead, but then again, when isn't he?

Grade: B+

#67: Gloria (2013)

I really enjoyed Paulina Garcia in Sebastian Lelio's story of a divorcee trying to navigate the relationships in her life. Whether with her two grown children, her new boyfriend, played excellently by Sergio Hernandez, or her ex-husband. The pacing always seems a little off, and some moments were a bit silly, but overall it is pretty good film.

Grade: B-

#68: Monuments Men (2014)

While "Monuments Men" tends to tilt a little far into sentimentalist territory, it is a solid film. George Clooney assembled a completely solid cast that glues together a sometimes shaky script, and gives emotionally charged performances that draw you in for the long haul.

Grade: B+

#69: Vampire Academy (2014)

#70: Lust For Love (2014)

Fran Kranz (the stoner from "Cabin in the Woods") plays a highly unlikable virgin in this awful romantic comedy about a virgin trying to get back with the woman he has been in love with for years. The story never fully develops, and the acting is always stale. The character's indecisive nature is never charming, which makes the film a chore to watch.

Grade: D

#71: The Right Kind of Wrong (2013)

At points, this movie is actually charming, but most of the time the writing falls into the rut of most other romantic comedies. It is hard to not like Ryan Kwanten (Anna Paquin's brother from "True Blood") as a down-on-his-luck writer trying to win the affections of a woman he meets on her wedding day. The problem is, they do everything they can to make you hate her husband, and it all feels forced.

Grade: C+

#72: Interior. Leather Bar. (2013) 

I respect what James Franco and Travis Mathews were attempting to do with "Interior. Leather Bar.", but when it begins to bash you over the head, it gets a bit muddled.

Grade: C

#73: The Lego Movie (2014)

This film has a real high rewatch value. It is seriously better the second time.

Grade: A

#74: RoboCop (2014)

#75: Blood Car (2007)

Alex Orr has written one of the funniest and goofiest allegories about the oil industry, and everyone who enjoys a perfectly bad movie should watch this. Mike Brune is excellently terrible as a young man who creates a car that runs on human blood, and sacrifices his all of principals to keep it running. A wonderful script and spot-on cult film cinematography make this movie damn near perfect. "Blood Car" needs to be a staple of midnight movies for years to come.

Grade: A

A Field in England (2013)

"Field" Day

I wasn't sure what to expect when I sat down to watch Ben Wheatley's "A Field in England", so I decided not to expect anything. What I got was a hallucinogenic fueled hour-and-a-half of pure madness that may well be the best film I didn't quite process properly. In the midst of an English Civil War, four defectors set off to find an alehouse, and instead find a a batch of mushrooms that they consume in a stew. Everything that follows is mind-bending insanity filled with betrayal, violence, and men appearing out of thin air. I mean that literally. A man just appears out of nowhere!

Wheatley's wife, Amy Jump, was responsible for the script, which was smart and often amusing, while director of photography Laurie Rose shot the film in a stunning, almost Bergman-esque, black-and-white style that is absolutely awe-inspiring. She doesn't waste a single frame. The actors give some very able performances, taking Jump's eloquent script, and just run with it. They handle everything that the director throws at them in stride, and seem to be having one hell of a time with it. Ben Wheatley manages to concoct some thrilling images with this movie, especially in its psychedelic climax, and proves that he may be one of the single most interesting directors to keep your eye on in the coming future. I can't illustrate how much this man is going to excite film nerds everywhere.

Grade: A
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No

Starring: Julian Barrat, Peter Ferdinando, Richard Glover
Director: Ben Wheatley
Writer(s): Amy Jump
RT: 90
Rating: Not Rated (There is Graphic Violence, Drug Use, and Nudity, though)

The Lego Movie (2014)

Thick as a Brickowski

It is not often that the phrases "scatterbrained" and "quickly paced" are put into my reviews as a positive for the movie; however, "The Lego Movie" made these work, and I personally loved it for that. I can't really get into many of the reasons why this film was a great as it was (spoilers and all), but the writing/directing team of Phil Lord and Christopher Miller made a great flick about the power of imagination and the joys of fitting in while standing out. In the film Chris Pratt plays Emmett Brickowski, a nobody construction worker, who finds himself as "The Special, the leader of a rebellion against President Business (Will Ferrell), after finding a hidden relic from that was foretold in a prophesy. 

Pratt does a great a job, but is hardly the best of an impressive voice cast including Morgan Freeman as the Wizard training Brickowski, Elizabeth Banks as the badass Wyldstyle, Will Arnett as a cocky Batman, and, of course, Liam Neeson as a cop with a dual personality (aptly named Good Cop/Bad Cop). My favorite voice performance goes to Charlie Day, who gives an amusing turn as Benny, the spaceship obsessed 80's astronaut. I really liked so much about this film: the writing, the animation, Mark Mothersbaugh's energetic score, the movie's ability to constantly parody itself, that I could maybe go on for quite some time. So I will simply say, that any film that forces me to give credit to Will Ferrell, is going to be a great film. 

Grade: A

3D: Not necessary, but certainly not a hindrance

Easter Egg: Sort of. They play the song from Batman's car over the end of the credits.

Starring: Chris Pratt, Morgan Freeman, Liam Neeson 

Director: Phil Lord and Christopger Miller

Writer(s): Phil Lord and Christopher Miller

RT: 100 min

Rating: PG

25 Films #2

#26: Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (2014)

This is a serviceable reboot of the Jack Ryan franchise, with a few decent action sequences, and a couple of good performances. Its central plot holds little intrigue, however, and won't keep your attention from time to time.

Grade: B-

#27: Ride Along

#28: Reasonable Doubt (2014)

Peter A. Dowling's script relies on too many unbelievable coincidences to create any tension in this lifeless thriller. On the other hand, Dominic Cooper gives such a limp performance that you wonder if he even believes in the film. If it weren't for Samuel L. Jackson being as menacing as possible, this would have recieved a much lower grade.

Grade: D

#29: Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain (2013)

Kevin Hart is a wild, and very funny comedian who isn't afraid to mock his own physical appearance to get a hearty laugh. However, the opening scripted scene of this almost puts you out of the film, before you even really get started. Thankfully, his jokes, and random pyrotechnics, bring you back, and make you happy they did.

Grade: B

#30: Deceptive Practice: The Mysteries and Mentors of Ricky Jay (2013)

This is an interesting look at the obsessions, and inspirations, of a magician who is very passionate about his craft. Through him, you learn the histories of Jay himself, and some of the men who heavily influenced and trained him.

Grade: A-

#31: The Square (2013) 

A moving documentary about the nature of revolution, and the abuses of power of those in charge, set against the backdrop of the Egyptian protests over the last 3 years. This movie will make you believe in the human spirit, and that the power of the masses can change anything. It may also make you feel lazy and pampered.

Grade: A

#32: 20 Feet From Stardom (2013)

Morgan Neville turns out a surprisingly emotional documentary about the history of back-up singers in pop music. From the ones who started it as a craft, to the ones who stood out in some of your favorite songs, the journey is beautiful, and well worth the time you spend taking it. Especially in scenes like watching Merry Clayton listen to, and explain her choices in, The Rolling Stones "Gimme Shelter", or Darlene Love express her anger toward Phil Spector giving someone else credit for a single she recorded.

Grade: A

#33: Cutie and the Boxer (2013)

An 80 year-old Japanese artist, and his artist wife of 40 years, live in New York, and struggle to make a living. This is the focus of the "Cutie and the Boxer", a sweet slice-of-life documentary with plenty of heart to give.

Grade: B+

#34: Back in the Day (2014)

Everything about this coming-home comedy (written, starring, and directed by Michael Rosenbaum) is sorely unfunny. There are almost no jokes that hit their mark, and just as few good performances. I would make a poop joke in reference to how bad this film was, but Rosenbaum stole all of them for his script.

Grade: D-

#35: After the Dark (2013)

The story in this film is a bit fascinating: a group of philosophy students have to choose between themselves to see who gets to stay in a underground bunker after a hypothetical apocalypse. The acting is rather strong, the writing is decent, and the cinematography is beautiful. However, the ending is a little too dramatic, and betrays what the rest of the film sets out to do.

Grade: B-

#36: Frozen (2013)  *Rewatched

"Frozen" actually got better with a second viewing. It has a very high rewatch value, so I would recommend repeated viewings for anyone who is a fan. Those trolls are still a really stupid idea, though.

Grade: B+

#37: Free Ride (2013)

This is a very middle of the road "true story" drama about a single mother who gets caught up in drug trafficking while trying to provide for her two daughters. Anna Paquin does a decent job considering the somewhat cheesy script, and the story ends a little abruptly because of a reason I won't share due to spoilers.

Grade: C

#38: Big Bad Wolves (2013)

Aharon Keshales and Navot Papushado, two Israeli film makers, have created one of the most twisted, darkly humorous, and haunting thrillers of the year. Three men (a police detective, the father of a murdered girl, and the girl's suspected kidnapper) find themselves in the middle of a revenge plot that quickly hurtles out of control. It isn't usually this early in the year that I see a film that could easily make it into my top ten, so we'll have to see what the rest of this year brings.

Grade: A

#39: Filth (2013)

A manic and poorly-paced first act leads to a much more thoughtful third act. James McAvoy turns in one of his finest performances, if not his absolute finest, playing from coke-addled Scottish police officer trying to climb the professional ladder, however he can.

Grade: B

#41: Enemies Closer (2013)

Jean-Claude Van Damme seems to be having a lot of fun with his career these days. This may be one of his cheesiest films (that doesn't co-star Dennis Rodman), but he has such magnificent time playing a villainous drug smuggler, that you don't even care about the bad dialogue or sub-par supporting cast. As an added bonus, Tom Everett Scott is the good guy. Do you remember Tom Everett Scott? I do. And I miss him...

Grade: C-

#42: Gimme Shelter (2013)

I guess Vanessa Hudgens is tired of being associated with the Disney Channel crowd, because she keeps moving further into more dramatic roles. In "Gimme Shelter" she plays a pregnant, somewhat homeless teenager with a past of abuse, looking for a way to survive on her own. A few good performances (mostly Rosario Dawson), and some emotional moments pull it up from being nothing but a standard Lifetime film. I'll forget what this is in a month, though.

Grade: C

#43: I, Frankenstein (2014)

#44: Summer in February (2013)

Trying to capitalize on the poularity of "Downton Abbey", even going so far to cast Dan Stevens, Christopher Menaul's period drama falls flat in just about every aspect. The performances are boring and the script is one notch below a day time soap opera. If it wasn't for good costume and production design, this movie would be a total waste.

Grade: D

#45: In A World... (2013)

#46: The Great Beauty (2013)

I took a couple of days to let this film sink in, because it actually warranted that. Paolo Sorrentino wrote and directed one of the most beautifully shot films of the year. Not a frame is wasted, as he fills the screen with wonderfully constructed images. His script tends to meander from time to time, but for the majority it tells an engrossing tale of a man trying to find beauty in a superficial world he has constructed for himself (a role that Toni Servillo gives a stunning amount of life to).

Grade: B+

#47: The Human Race (2013)

A ridiculous premise, bad acting, and even worse cinematography have made this one of new favorite soon-to-be cult films. I don't even know what else to say about this exciting trainwreck of a film, except that I just love every terrible minute of it.

Grade: D+

#48: Run & Jump (2013)

Where did Will Forte come from? He was making horrible comedies like "That's My Boy" and "MacGruber", and suddenly he is in moving dramadies like "Nebraska" and this tale about an Irish family coping with the aftermath of the patriarch's stroke. A pretty decent script, with some cliche pitfalls, is kept together with a few really strong performances. Especially Will Forte's.

Grade: B

#49: Kissing Jessica Stein (2001)

Heather Juergensen and Jessica Westfeldt wrote and starred in this delightful indie about two New York women, one a conservative Jewish newspaper writer, the other a free-spirited artist, finding each other romantically. Even though it was made 14 years ago, the writing still feels current and absolutely crisp. The cast is fantastic, and filled with actors who were on the cusp of stardom, but not there yet. Anybody looking for an original and fun romantic comedy should check this one out.

Grade: A-

#50: Kill Your Darlings (2006) 

Bjorne Larson co-wrote and directed this misguided, and horribly mismanaged, film about a screenwriter trying to find inspiration. The acting was poor, the script was muddled, and the directing was boring. Awful. Just awful.

Grade: D