Okay! The pun I used for the title has been used a lot, but Vampires are hot right now. You can't seem to go anywhere, or do anything without them infecting every facet of society. I like Vampires: Buffy, Angel, Nosferatu, 30 Days of Night! These are great vampire stories, unfortunately we're getting stuck with garbage like "Twilight" and "Underworld", and it's really starting to piss me off. Here are some previews I have seen very recently that involve the undead.
Fail: Dark Shadows
I don't usually start with the fail, but I just felt had to get this out of the way. I used to be a giant Tim Burton fan, until he started doing films like this. I've never seen the source material, and if it is worse than this trailer, like I've heard it is, I don't think I want to. Johnny Depp is playing another super quirky character in a another over-directed Burton film. And who else is there? Why, it's Helena Bonham Carter! Surprise, surprise! Watching this trailer just makes me wonder what happened to the man who made "Ed Wood" or "Big Fish".
Pass: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
It seems he stopped directing good movies,and started producing them instead. Why do all the hard work when you can leave it to Russian phenomenon, Timur Bekmambetov? He is slowly becoming the king of big-budget hyper-active action flicks. The kind of action movies that seemingly have no basis in reality ("Wanted"), but are fun enough to keep an audience's attention. Timur also has previous experience with vampire films, having directed two of the best of the genre in recent memory: "Night Watch" and "Day Watch". This should be one to keep your eye on.
Double Fail: I Kissed a Vampire
Try not to laugh too hard at this, because it drowns out priceless lyrics such as, "Don't tell me what to do, or I'll suck the life right out of you." Wouldn't you hate that? There is so much cheese packed into this preview: the goofy dance numbers, the shots of Grabeel hovering over his female co-star, the phrase "fang-ups"! I'm shocked somebody came up with the idea, let alone, that somebody actually green-lit this. It seems that somebody thought to their self, do you know what "Twilight" is lacking? Original pop musical numbers! I'm not interested in finding out who is to blame, I just want them to stop.
Extra Pass: Buffy the Vampire Slayer: From the season 6 episode "Once More With Feeling".
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