Every now and then a sequel gets released that feels like if the studio would not have slapped a franchise title on it, it could have been a much better film. I think, whole-heatedly, that "The Bourne Legacy" was one of these misguided films. The film doesn't have any glaring faults: its well written, action-packed, and the performances are actually quite good. The fault lies in the fact that they started a new series from a great series whose star stated that he had zero interest in returning. Jeremy Renner is wonderful fit to jump start it, but trying to have the audience buy the "two rouge agents at one" time story felt a little forced, and created massive distraction while watching the movie. Especially when scenes from the other films popped up. The last thing you want to do is remind the viewers of why the other films were so great. Just cast Renner as Bourne, and tell everyone that it works for Bond, and everyone would have let it go. I promise.
Grade: B
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Jeremy Renner, Rachel Weisz, Edward Norton
Director: Tony Gilroy
Writer(s): Tony Gilroy (also story) & Dan Gilroy - Novels: Robert Ludlum
RT: 135 min
Rating: PG-13 for violence and action sequences
2012 was a great year for comic book films. "The Avengers" kicked off the summer with a bang, "The Dark Knight Rises" ended the best comic trilogy to date, and "The Amazing Spider-Man" rebooted a franchise with gusto. Then there was "Dredd", a middling film with grand intentions, that simply fell short of the mark. Karl Urban sneers his way through a role which he did fine at, but would have shined in a much better film. Olivia Thirlby serves as Dredd's trainee, a psychic orphan on her first call, and steals much of the film. While Lena Heady, whom I love in "300" and "The Sarah Connor Chronicles", plays the laughable head villain Ma-Ma. I was upset to learn that Alex Garland, who wrote 28 Days Later, wrote the script, because with proper direction this could have been a film that weighed the morality against the violence. Though it has plenty of over-the-top violence (the kind I tend to like), shoot-outs, and good performances from a strong supporting cast, "Dredd" has plenty of faults that keep it an over-stylized mess.
Grade: C
3D: Don't
Easter Egg: My company made me leave before the end of the credits... I don't know.
Starring: Karl Urban, Olivia Thirlby, Len Headey
Director: Pete Travis
Writer(s): Alex Garland - Characters: Carlos Exquerra & John Wagner
RT: 95 min
Rating: R for strong bloody violence, language, drug use and some sexual content
My new favorite past-time is watching Liam Neeson punch things, be they wolves, billionaires, or terrorists. I will admit that my bias of Neeson may have given me rose colored glasses towards this movie, but I loved every second of it. It wasn't as good as the original, mostly because the plot is stretched a little thin; however, it was tense, fast-paced, and a lot of fun. Maggie Grace is every bit as annoying as the first movie, but she does manage to get a good car chase in, and Famke Janssen lends her understated talent in a larger role for this film (though she does have a bag over head for most of the film, which sucks). Turn the brain off, sit back with your large popcorn, and enjoy the punching. So. Much. Punching!
Grade: B-
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: None
Starring: Liam Neeson, Famke Janssen, Maggie Grace
Director: Olivier Megaton
Writer(s): Luc Besson & Robert Mark Kamen
RT: 92 min
Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, and some sensuality
These are the times that I'm so glad that John Lasseter has taken over all of Disney's animation department. "Wreck-It Ralph" may be the most earnest animated film it has put out under its own label (not Pixar or Studio Ghibli) since 2002's "Lilo and Stitch". The characters are well thought out, and the voice casting was spot-on, whether they based characters off of the actors, or the other way around. John C. Reilly, playing the title character, brings layers of conflict and emotion to a character struggling with his day to day life, and questioning the roles of heroes and villains in the world of video games. As Vanellope, Sarah Silverman strikes up a sweetness not normally seen from her public persona, and puts forth a mixture childish ego and crippling vulnerability that makes you care about her more than you would assume after first meeting her. There isn't much wrong with the film, aside from the obvious foreshadowing, at least not much worth writing about. I would strongly suggest it to anyone who wants a to have a great time, or just wants to play "spot your favorite video game".
Grade: A-
3D: Good enough
Easter Egg: One for the hardcore gamers, or fans of "King of Kong: Fistful of Quarters"
Starring: John C. Reilly, Sarah Silverman, Jack McBrayer
Director: Rich Moore
Writer(s): Jennifer Lee and Phil Johnston - Additional Material: John C. Reilly
RT: 108 min
Rating: PG for some rude humor and mild action/violence
"The FP" is an absurd genre parody written and directed by the Trost Brothers. It is a profane send up of post-apocalyptic thrillers and street gang films such as "The Warriors". In the not too distant future, two gangs are fighting for control of an area know as Frazier Park. They do battle over a deadly dance video game named "Beat Beat Revelation". When we first come upon the gangs, the leaders, BTRO and L Dubba E, are in the process of preparing for a dance battle. One that ends with BTRO's death. BTRO's younger brother, and fellow gang member, witnesses his death, and swears off "Beat Beat" for good. That is until L Dubba E's gang let's The FP go to waste by controlling the distribution of alcohol, and letting the drunks turn to meth addicts, or worse. It is now up to JTRO, with the help of a couple of friends, to train to take down the oppressive rule of L Dubba E.
I would like to start by syaing that this plot summary is not a joke. The Trost Brothers have created a parody, parading as a serious drama, that may be one of the silliest, most over-the-top comedies of the past few years. It may not be as good as recent soon-to-be cult films, like "Attack the Block", but it certainly leaves its mark. Jason Trost, pulling triple duty as co-writer, co-director, and the film's lead, JTRO, carries the film with an almost quiet stoicism, like a Clint Eastwood anti-hero. He seems almost immune to the insanity that is happening all around him. While on the opposite end, the film's villain, L Dubba E, is played with tremendously profane gusto by Lee Valmassy. Clad with his mohawk, fu manchu, and ornate grill, he is a shit-talking loudmouth, who runs The FP like his personal playground.
Never Ignorant Getting Goals Accomplished
The supporting cast is every bit as good as the lead, Art Hsu as the hyperactive KCDC, Caker Folley as JTRO love interest Stacy, and a brilliant cameo from long time character actor, Sean Whalen, as Stacy's father, being bright spots among them. I must say that this script is a little loose, and sometimes all over the place, and makes some scenes a little rough around the edges. However, Brandon Trost's cinematography is so top notch, that it's never hard on the eyes. All around, this isn't a bad film, but it has a lot of flaws that, even as independent parody, keep it from reaching a higher standard as a cult classic. It's too good to be "so-good-it's-bad" and not good enough for anyone to say, "This is so good I can't believe I didn't see this sooner".
Grade: B-
RT: 82 min
Rating: R for pervasive language, sexual content, some nudity and brief drug material
"The Amazing Spider-Man" was possibly the most thrilling take on the character I have seen to date. Marc Webb found the true essence of the character, and made him every bit the neighborhood friendly wall-crawler we have come to know, and love. Packed with award caliber performances, it was far more promising than its trailers led us to believe. Comic book films are reaching a place where they as emotional as they are action packed, and this film found the balance perfectly. The small things that were wrong with were the kind of things not worth mentioning, so I won't. I'll just say that every origin story drags sometimes.
Grade: A- 3D: If you must Easter Egg: Yes
Starring: Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Denis Leary Director: Marc Webb Writer(s): James Vanderbilt (also story) & Alvin Sargent & Steve Kloves
RT: 136 min
Rating: PG-13 for sequences of action and violence
Wes Anderson's keeps cranking out original and provoking films, that challenge the norm, and entertain with tremendous joy. "Moonrise Kingdom" belongs with "Bottle Rocket" and "The Royal Tennenbaums" as one of his most personal, and intriguing, films to date. His cast in this film is so perfectly placed, that it's a wonder that he didn't work with some of them sooner (I'm thinking mainly of Edward Norton, who could not have been more of a delight in this film if he tried). Kudos especially to the films two leads, Jared Gilman and Kara Hayward, for handling this material like masters of the screen, despite this being both of their first films. Cinematographer Robert Yeoman, who has worked on every live action Anderson film, keeps the film visually stunning. Giving it his signature look, that falls somewhere between modern and vintage, but never dull.
Grade: A
Easter Egg: One for the geeks who want to stay.
Starring: Jared Gilman, Kara Hayward, Bruce Willis
Director: Wes Anderson
Writer(s): Wes Anderson & Roman Coppola
RT: 94 min
Rating: PG-13 for sexual content and smoking
I don't understand the obsession with "Magic Mike", honestly. It's the "self-respecting" woman's version of softcore porn, and even then you're better off watching the very similar, and better written film, "Boogie Nights". Not to say that this isn't a decent movie, with small shimmers of good movie, but Steven Soderbergh simply hasn't made as a good an effort. He does, for the most part, keep the film enjoyable, and has amassed a talented cast that has done the same. It seems to slip the most in the third act, when things get dire for the leads. The tension never properly mounts, and the stakes never feel that high. However, professional wrestling superstar Kevin Nash is in it, and that is good enough for me!
With the world "ending" this year, it seems we need as many end of the world movies as possible. This is second best of the genre I have seen this year (the first being "Perfect Sense"). Despite being a mainstream romantic comedy, it doesn't follow a lot of patterns, and remains understated, not loud and brash like a lot of Carell's other comedies. The humor is smart, the characters are sympathetic, and the cast handles the subject matter with gusto. The supporting cast, and all of the cameos, give this film a well-rounded feel that lasts with you, after the film is over. I will say this is a happier, less annoying version of Lars Von Trier's whinny "Melancholia" that came out last year, except I don't think I laughed as hard at this. For different reasons, of course.
Grade: B+
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Steve Carell, Keira Knightley, Martin Sheen
Director: Lorene Scafaria
Writer(s): Lorene Scafaria
RT: 101 min
Rating: R for language including sexual references, some drug use and brief violence
What happens when two of the most respected sci-fi writers, in film today (Alex Kurtzman & Roberto Orci), decide to make a drama with a writer who's main credit is a documentary about the comeback of a singer/songwriter? "People Like Us". A sweet film about a man who discovers he has a sister, and a nephew, after his father dies, and leaves them a small fortune. Chris Pine is beginning to grow on me more with each film. He was a fine Kirk in "Start Trek", and does well in a non-action role along side Elizabeth Banks. This material is good, and wanders into emotional territory from time to time, but stays on the happy/smiley side for most of it. While this is Kurtzman's directorial debut, it isn't the kind of film one really uses to show off what they can do behind the camera.
Grade: B
Easter Egg: No
THE CLASH WATCH: Multiple reference to "London Calling"/"Spanish Bombs" plays
Starring: Chris Pine, Elizabeth Banks, Olivia Wilde
Director: Alex Kurtzman
Writer(s): Alex Kurtzman & Roberto Orci & Jody Lambert
RT: 115 min
Rating: PG-13 for language, some drug use and brief sexuality
I understand the want to make fairy tale women stronger, and less of the victim, I do. But, at least when you do it, make a better movie. "Snow White and the Huntsman" obviously wants to be whatever fantasy movie it can pay homage to, but fails at finding enough of its own personality to be any good. Honestly, despite a little overacting (mostly from Charlize Theron, surprisingly), the cast did a pretty good job, and director Rupert Sanders, and cinematographer Greig Fraser, make the film somewhat of a visual treat. The writing is where I had the most problem, or whomever decided to pack in as much of "The Lord of the Rings", "The Neverending Story", and any Guillermo Del Toro film, as they possibly could.
Grade: C-
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Chris Hemsworth, Nick Frost
Director: Rupert Sanders
Writer(s): Evan Daugherty and John Lee Hancock and Hossein Amini
RT: 127 min
Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, and brief sensuality
BOOKS! They often make great movies, and seeing as this is a movie review blog, that is good for me. This year has already seen its share of films based off of novels ("John Carter", "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter"), and has more on the way ("Les Miserables", "The Hobbit", "Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days"), so I thought I would take today to criticize two trailers, not listed above, for your amusement.
Pass: Anna Karenina
Call me whatever name you would like, but I love a well made period drama. Especially ones based on Russian literature. Let's start with the basics of why this trailer has me a little more than excited. First, it is being directed by Joe Wright. If you have not seen "Atonement", then you won't understand why this is great, but I assure you, this man knows how to effectively tell a story. Speaking of great storytellers, the screenplay to this Leo Tolstoy masterpiece is being written by Tom Stoppard. The man responsible for "Rosencrantz & Gildenstern Are Dead" and partly for "Brazil"! Also, look at Seamus McGarvey's beautiful cinematography! He was the man responsible for making "The Avengers" look as sleek as it was, and his other D.P. credits aren't anything to scoff at either. Add in this top-shelf cast, and this trailer has me wanting to see a midnight show of this movie.
Fail: The Great Gatsby
Why does this look so bad? Oh... Baz "Moulin Rouge" Luhrmann directed it. Giving it that cartoony quality that he does with everything he touches. While I loved "No Church in the Wild" for the "Safe House" trailer, it doesn't seem to fit in a film about rich white people in the roaring '20's. Though the cast did originally get me pumped up, after seeing this trailer I don't think I could be any less enthused. It captures every bit of screaming angst that I would expect in horror movie trailer, without all of the grotesque death scenes. Wait! Did I just see that it was in 3D? Wonderful. Just what we needed. Overacting, and bad special effects backgrounds in 3D. Didn't we have enough of that from "Episode I" and "Titanic" being re-released this year?
Extra Pass: Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury
I post this to a lot of thing, but I love it. If you couldn't tell by the title, this is not appropriate for work, school, parents, or fans of Issac Asimov.
There is something to be said for people with bizarre passions. They feel things that so-called "normal" people will never be able to. What most would call obsession, these individuals call love. Generally, it is a love for a specific product, person, or event that transcends any love that the public is able to comprehend. Brett Whitcomb and Bradford Thomason's documentary, "The Rock-afire Explosion", captures this through the eyes of a collection of fans of the Showbiz Pizza franchise, as they share their passion, and their stories. The film primarily focuses on two men: Aaron Fechter and Chris Thrash. Fechter is the creator of the Rock-afire Explosion, owner of Creative Engineering, and co-founder of Showbiz Pizza. He lays out the heart-breaking details of his rise to stardom with the quick success, and failure, of the pizza franchise. Thrash,on the other hand, is a small-town roller rink DJ, and the self-proclaimed, biggest fan of Showbiz Pizza. He spends his time trying to get enough money to buy, and maintain, a complete Rock-afire stage show, which he keeps in his garage.
Dreams do come true!
Watching this film was beautiful experience. These two men bare their souls on screen, one in ways that may seem absolutely silly to anyone who would not care to understand him, and it becomes very easy for the audience to be taken by them. Whitcomb and Thomason delve into this topic with gusto, and I can't tell whether it was my nostalgic streak, my personal connection, or my love of a great underdog story, that really got me hooked, but I feel this is honestly one of the most strikingly honest documentaries I have seen recently, and suggest it whole heatedly.
There was a time in my life that I never thought the name Tim Burton could do no wrong. Now I'm beginning to wonder if I might ever see him do right again. His latest Johnny Depp/Helena Bonham Carter team up is the most depressing the three of them have done yet, despite the talents of Jackie Earle Haley, Johnny Lee Miller, Chloe Grace Moretz and other actors that don't go by three names. The comic bits don't yield laughs, the dramatic bits don't hold interest, and the acting goes so far over the top that it flies past the want to be campy, and into a special area of bad. The story should be fun, and in the hands of someone more capable director, an early Peter Jackson, or maybe Edgar Wright, it really could have been. Unfortunately, it just leaves the audience with the "what did I just witness" face, and the unnerving feeling that this vampire trend might not go away for a while. Enjoy "Twilight 7", America!
Grade: D-
3D: N/a
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Johnny Depp, Eva Green, Michelle Pfeiffer
Director: Tim Burton
Writer(s): Seth Grahame-Smith - Story: John August - Series: Dan Curtis
RT: 113min
Rating: PG-13 for comic horror violence, sexual content, some drug use, language and smoking
I find that musicals (especially movie musicals) have to have me enamored by the end of the opening number in order to keep my attention. With "Rock of Ages", director Adam Shankman ("Hairspray"/Zac Efron's Pool Party") can't seem to make the opening number worth watching. The first of many horrible music mash-ups, this combination starts with a busload of people singing Night Ranger's "Sister Christian", and plunges into Julianne Hough screeching her way through David Lee Roth's "Living in Paradise", while Diego Boneta gives little heart to Poison's "Nothin' But a Good Time." The rest of this plotless, 80's tribute suckfest wants you to believe that Tom Cruise is still a sex symbol and Russell Brand can manage to carry a tune (I will say that Brand's duet with Alec Baldwin ("Can't Fight this Feeling") is probably the only fleeting highlight of this jukebox disaster), and both are about as true as this movie is interesting.
Grade: D
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Tom Cruise, Alec Baldwin, Russell Brand
Director: Adam Shankman
Writer(s): Justin Theroux and Allan Loeb and Chris D'Arienzo (also Musical Book)
RT: 123 min
Rating: PG-13 for sexual content, suggestive dancing, some heavy drinking, and language
Aardman Entertainment has been responsible for some great films, and the wildly hilarious "Wallace and Gromit shorts. Their new film "Pirates!" has its place among their ranks, but hardly qualifies as great. Though the film is funny, and manages to remain entertaining, the story follows the same plot structure as many other family films: main character betrays his roots, loses all his true friends, and has to win them back through some glorious scheme. It offers little in the way of surprise, but that fault doesn't ruin the enjoyment. The writing is well paced, and laden with enough pop sensibility, that make it the perfect spoof of Disney's extremely corporate "Pirates" films. Mix the over-the-top slapstick with Aardman's dry humor, and you have a great film for everyone to enjoy.
Grade: B
3D: If you must
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Hugh Grant, Salma Hayek, Jeremy Piven
Director: Peter Lord & Jeff Newitt
Writer(s): Gideon Defoe
RT: 88 min
Rating: PG for mild action, rude humor and some language
When watching "Prometheus", the words I had to put out of my mind were "Alien" and "answers". These were going to be the words that, if I let them in, would infect everything about the movie, and would hinder my enjoyment. What I got was a fascinating, if somewhat formulaic, sci-fi/horror film with a perfectly well-rounded cast, and stunning cinematography. Though I wouldn't put this film on the list near the first two "Alien" films, I would still consider this a worthwhile experience. Scott frames the story beautifully, making it more about the mission, and story, at hand than trying to answer all of the burning questions that the audience might have had for the past few decades (a faux pas that the "Star Wars" prequels, and last year's middling "X-Men: First Class", were guilty of).
Grade: B
3D: If you must
Easter egg: A very small one, that only devoted fans will enjoy.
Starring: Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Guy Pearce
Director: Ridley Scott
Writer: John Spaihts and Damon Lindelof
RT: 124 min
Rating: R for sci-fi violence including some intense images, and brief language
Making its triumphant return is the Pass or Fail column of the blog. Today's two trailers I will be dissecting are both sequels that star Maggie Grace, who was the President's daughter in the Guy Pearce film "Lockout", earlier this year.
Pass: Taken 2
It only seems right that the first post back would feature blog favorite, Liam Neeson. This guy is amazing with a capital punch you in the throat. Now he is back, in the same year as the movie where he punched the living shit out of some wolves, with what seems to be a thinly veiled excuse to kill a whole bunch of guys. He has the task of telling of his daughter that she is going to taken, again, and as if it is becoming a routine in her every day life ("Oh, it's Thursday. ABDUCTION DAY!) she asks, "What are you going to do?" Neeson responds, "What I do best." And calmly begins to kill everyone else in the trailer, and tells the leader of the group, as if he was a parent telling their child to eat their vegetables. "You'll just have to die." I don't care if this is the worst film of the fall, Liam Neeson is going to shoot a lot of people, and that is all I need in life.
Fail: Twilight: Breaking Dawn - Part 2
If I have to explain why this is a fail, you're reading the wrong blog. There is enough horrible dialogue and acting in this trailer to fill the Sci-Fi Channel (I refuse to spell their name any other way) with original movie material until this comes out. What irks me the most about this trailer is that they call the film "epic". That word used to mean something. "Lawrence of Arabia" is epic. "Gone With the Wind" is Epic. "The Empire Strikes Back" is epic! The "Twilight" series is the kind of "epic" that gets thrown around on the internet to describe... well, anything. I'm sure this film is going to be about as "epic" as finding thirty-seven cents in loose change in the couch.
Extra Pass: The Dark Knight: Trailer #4
This is what an epic conclusion looks like, Twilight.
I've been a comic book geek for a huge portion of my life. I've been waiting for a film of this calibre to come along, and "The Avengers" made me more than excited that the wait is over (though I still wish it was the JLA). Marvel's first super team-up movie may be somewhat loud, and laden with special effects, but it doesn't feel like that is what "The Avengers" is all about. Writer and Director Joss Whedon takes his time with the characters, making you care for them, and getting to know each one personally, in case you didn't see any of the five other films released by Marvel in the past four years. It's a magnificent stand alone film, with an ensemble cast that is absolutely seamless. Everyone gets their moments of shining glory, and plays them to perfection, keeping the audience riveted from start to finish. Each gripping action sequence is craftily directed, and never loses focus of the story, or the individuals that are on screen. If this is the quality of the summer ahead, I'm going into this summer with my head held high.
Grade: A
3D: If you must
Easter Egg: 2! Watch them both!
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Samuel L. Jackson
Director: Joss Whedon
Writer(s): Joss Whedon - Stroy: Zak Penn and Joss Whedon
RT: 142 min
Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action throughout, and a mild drug reference
It's hard to not compare British Mob movies to the work of Guy Ritchie, and with "Hard Boiled Sweets" it is almost impossible. The multiple characters scheming to obtain one item while constantly back stabbing each other, keeps films like "Snatch" on your mind throughout. There isn't really anything in this film that stands out. The plot is half-baked, the directing is mildly interesting, and the acting is bland, and some of it is downright bad. Overall this just isn't a film I could stand behind, or recommend.
Grade: D+
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Philip Barantini, Elizabeth Barrington, Adrian Bower
Director: David L.G. Hughes
Writer(s): David L.G. Hughes
RT: 84 min
Rating: R
Does anybody still care about Halle Berry? If "Dark Tide" is any indication, the answer is a very quiet, "No." This is a flacid thriller about a shark expert who is hired to take a wealthy businessman, and his son, diving with sharks off of the coast of South Africa. The characters are stale, and their back-stories are mainly uninteresting. Berry's unenthusiastic performance, and her costume consisting mainly of a bikini, makes you realize that her talent was not the reason she became an A-lister. I will say that when underwater, without dialogue, the movie is shot beautifully, and the sense of danger mounts. The problem is, you care so little for the people in trouble, that you actually root for the sharks.
Grade: D
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Halle Berry, Olivier Martinez, Ralph Brown
Director: John Stockwell
Writer(s): Ronnie Christensen & Amy Sorlie (also story)
RT: 94 min
Rating: PG-13 for bloody shark attacks/disturbing images, and for language including sexual references
"Jesus Henry Christ" is a fine idea, but lacks the proper execution to be a wholly great film. While there are fine performances from Toni Collette and Michael Sheen, I wouldn't count them among their best. The writing posseses an overly quirky quality, though amusing in parts, makes for a rough watch at times. The directing, however, is pretty solid, and often times reminded me of Wes Anderson. Unfortunately the film never reaches the utter glee that Anderson is often inspires, and falls short of anything he has ever done.
Grade: B-
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Jason Spevack, Toni Collette, Michael Sheen
Director: Dennis Lee
Writer(s): Dennis Lee (also short film)
RT: 92 min
Rating: PG-13 for some violent images, language and smoking
Hopefully with films like "Deviation" and " ATM", the claustrophobic thriller will find its footing, and push out the found footage genre as the go-to scare. This small scale British film about an escaped prisoner (Danny Dyer) taking an unsuspecting nurse (Anna Walton) hostage, is both chilling and captivating. The premise is terrifying and realistic, and there is nothing about it that feels forced. Dyer gives such an unnerving performance it could rival any madman that has graced the screen in recent memory. Walton plays opposite him with beautifully subdued sparks of fear and cunning that make his insanity come to life.
Grade: B
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Danny Dyer, Anna Walton
Director: J.K. Amalou
Writer(s): J.K. Amalou
RT: 90 min
Rating: R
Let me take a moment to say how much I love Kevin Hart. He is a comedic mind like few others. His gift for self-deprecation is unrivaled among today's comedians, and his willingness to look like a fool is a huge credit to Tim Story's "Think Like a Man". There is also a wonderful scene-stealing performance from Gary Owen, as the married white guy of the group, who gets a few great one-liners, and is the only example of a functional relationship in the film. This is easily one of the funniest rom-coms I have seen in a while, that wasn't written by Woody Allen. The All-Star cast is undeniably charming, and bring out the hilarity of a script that is essentially a two hour commercial for Steve Harvey's dating advice book (yes, "Family Fued" Steve Harvey). See this! See it now!
Grade:B+
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: Yes
Starring: Gabrielle Union, Taraji P. Henson, Meagan Good
Director: Tim Story
Writer(s): Keith Merryman & David A. Newman - Book: Steve Harvey
RT: 122 min
Rating: PG-13 for sexual content, some crude humor, and brief drug use
Sometimes I can't figure out how I'm supposed to watch a movie. "Bad Ass" could have been watched one of two ways: as a parody of gangland dramas, or as a straight movie that is so bad, it's good. Honestly, I like it the latter way. This movie plays everything so tongue-in-cheek, that the goofiness is endearing. Danny Trejo plays a Vietnam vet who comes home to no support, and his woman in the arms of another man. It is now decadeslater, and his best friend is murdered, and he is the only person who will do anything about it. I love Trejo in this film. The writing may have been a little silly, but plays this spoof on his usual angry Mexican character with gusto. The major draw of this film is Charles S.Dutton as the gang leader tasked with hunting down Trejo. His over-the-top portrayal is the reason I had trouble deciding what I was watching. I would suggest "Bad Ass" to anyone who appreciates the art of bad film making, or maybe just Danny Trejo.
Grade: C
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Danny Trejo, Charles S. Dutton, Ron Perlman
Director: Craig Moss
Writer(s): Craig Moss & Elliot Tishman
RT: 90 min
Rating: R for violence, some torture, pervasive language, and some sexual content/nudity
I want to start this by saying, "Goon" was an interesting film. As a comedy, it was a terrible, badly written movie, but as a sports drama, it was intriguing and well acted. The film centers around a bouncer (Seann William Scott) who is recruited by a local Minor League hockey team because of his ability to beat people up. Scott has a knack for playing the sensitive loser, and handles the part with ease. It's the lines he often made to say, that really drag down the film. He isn't supposed to be a smart man, but at times he sounds a little too much like a neanderthal, especially in the film's more tender moments. Though he sells the bad writing as if it was gold. Jay Baruchel, who co-wrote the film with Evan Goldberg (Green Hornet), on the other hand, tries to kill every scene he's in with a barrage of expletives and bad jokes that have nothing to do with the moment at hand. If not for him, I may have liked this film more than I did. Its well directed Hockey scenes, and brutal depiction of the sport's violence were captivating, but Baruchel apparently had something else in mind.
Grade: B-
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: Yes (and it is worth it!)
Starring: Sean William Scott, Kim Coates, Liev Schreiber
Director: Michael Dowse
Writer(s): Jay Baruchel & Evan Goldberg - Book: Adam Frattasio & Doug Smith
RT: 92 Min
Rating: R for brutal violence, non-stop language, some strong sexual content and drug use
The one problem I have with Nicholas Sparks' storytelling is his need to have incredibly convoluted endings. "The Lucky One" was a pretty decent, if not somewhat cheesy, film until the finale, and then it all unraveled into a mess of an ending that sucked out all of the human element. Zac Efron gives a surprising solid performance as the strong, silent Marine helping a divorcee (who he considers his guardian angel), her son, and her grandmother run a kennel after returning home from Iraq. Taylor Schilling (the divorcee) makes the film, giving the writing the punch it needs to make it relatable, and Blythe Danner adds humor to keep the film from getting lost in its own plot devices. I realize it isn't necessarily the film makers' fault that the writing is bad, but it doesn'thelp the enjoyment of the film.
Grade: C
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Zac Efron, Taylor Schilling, Blythe Danner
The premise of David Brooks' "ATM" is simple; three co-workers (one on the way home, one driving,and one needing some food, but low on cash) go to an ATM, and are trapped by a psychopath trying to kill them. You're probably thinking two things right now: 1. Is this actually a movie? 2. Why does this sound oddly like "Phone Booth"? I can assure anyone who was not a fan of the Joel Schumacher's celluloid travesty, that this film was filled with more tension in one scene than the entirety of "Phone Booth". This small-time thriller manages to make the most of the enclosed space, cramming it with nail-biting suspense, and shooting it expertly. Brooks uses the camera so fluidly, and cleverly, it hardly feels like you're watching a movie. This is the kind of film that the "Paranormal Activity" crew could learn a thing or two from.
Grade: B+
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: Yes
Starring: Brian Geraghty, Alice Eve, Josh Peck
Director: David Brooks
Writer(s): Chris Sparling
RT: 90 min
Rating: R for violence and terror
The folly of trying to make something classic new, is over-explaining how it could exist in modern times. The basic act of giving purpose to the stupidity of characters like the stooges is a waste. These are three men who exist to exist. The Three Stooges were living cartoons, and they belonged that way. I realize the Farrelly Brothers have a knack for making outrageous characters human, and giving them more soul than most comedy writers of their generation, but this is the wrong set of guys to do that with. I never thought casting three "what's-his-faces" as the Stooges was a bad, but watching these three do bad impressions of Larry, Moe, and Curly was a real downer. I used to get excited about Farrelly Brothers films, between this and "Hall Pass", I'm not sure they're up to "Kingpin" standards anymore.
Grade: D-
3D: No (oddly enough)
Easter Egg: Yes, but it's dumb.
Starring: Sean Hayes, Chris Diamantopoulos, Will Sasso
Director: Bobby & Peter Farrelly
Writer(s): Mike Cerrone, Booby Farrelly, & Peter Farrelly
RT: 92 min
Rating: PG for slapstick action violence, some rude and suggestive humor including language
I watched this preview, thinking to myself the whole time, "It's 'Escape From New York. IN SPACE!" I was wrong. Dead wrong. This is not even close to the excitement, or the sheer badassery, of John Carpenter's action classic. Guy Pearce does all he can with the film, cracking wise like a space-age John McClane, but he can't carry the film all by himself. The rest of the cast, including Peter Stormare (one of the most underrated actors), seem disinterested, or down right bored through most of the film. Whoever did the special effects, did the absolute worst job in the film, except maybe the editor, with what appears to be a rushed job. These effects are an eye-sore that make every shot with them extremely difficult to watch. This is one of the poorest films with Luc Besson's man on it.
Grade: C-
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Guy Pearce, Maggie Grace, Peter Stormare
Director: Stephen St. Leger & James Mather
Writer(s): Stephen St. Leger & James Mather & Luc Besson
RT: 95 min
Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, and language including some sexual references
I actually failed this trailer. I saw the names Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard involved, and I still failed it. I'm glad to say that I was mostly wrong. The trailer was composed primarily of the straight forward "teenagers getting picked off one by one" style horror movie, and had next to nothing of the subplot (I won't it ruin here, if you haven't seen it). The whole twist on this film is the only thing that saves it from being a bad cross between "The Evil Dead" and "Scream", which is what the trailer led me to believe it was. The five college students don't really add anything to the film, except for Fran Kranz, who plays Marty, and, at times, drag down most of what the rest of the film is trying to accomplish. Their performances are flat and uninteresting, but with the characters being the secondary focus of the movie, the lack of interest in them helps sometimes. The writing, when it is at its peaks, is inspired, and absolutely hysterical, and reminiscent of some of the better episodes of Whedon's "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". I wouldn't rank this among the best of the horror-comedy genre, but it isn't a waste.
Grade: B
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: Disturbingly No
Starring: Richard Jenkins, Bradley Whitford, Fran Kranz
Director: Drew Goddard
Writer(s): Joss Whedon & Drew Goddard
RT: 95 min
Rating: R for strong bloody horror violence and gore, language, drug use and some sexuality/nudity
If there is anything I learned from "The Raid', it is this: swinging grown men around by their legs is easier than it looks (pictured above). This is the second no-frills action film I've seen this year, and it may be the best action film I've seen in a long time. Writer/director/editor Gareth Evans has created a fast-paced movie that will get your pulse racing, and steal your breath with every blow. The over-the-top violence makes for an interesting film that gets going, and never stops, filling the screen with brutality from frame to frame. The actors give every drop of sweat to give this movie the polish it deserves, and their performances are truly top-notch. With minimal plot and a lot of violence, this is the perfect action flick to make an hour and a half of your life a little better.
Grade: A
3D:N/A
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Iko Uwais, Ananda George, Ray Sahetapy
Director: Gareth Evans
Writer(s): Gareth Evans
RT: 101 min
Rating: R for strong brutal bloody violence throughout, and language
Where were you in '62? George Lucas created a film that captured the essence of a generation, and managed to grab a pivotal voice from that generation. Wolfman Jack, for those of you who don't know, was a disc jockey who, along with Alan Freed, helped popularize rock 'n' roll in the early sixties. Throughout the film, he is heard over the radio's of the characters' cars as they cruise down the strip. It isn't until near the end, when Richard Dreyfuss' Curt finds his studio outside of Modesto, that you see him. He is looking for a blonde in the Thunderbird, so he heads to the studio, and hands Jack, who he assumes is the station manager, a message for her. He turns when he hears the famous howl of the Wolfman, and realizes he had been talking to him.
9. Zombieland: Bill Murray
There is one good scene in this movie, and it happens to have Bill Murray in it. The rest is just filler. The four character's break into his house, only to find him still occupying it, pretending to be a zombie (so he won't be killed). He hangs out with Woody Harrelson and Emma Stone, smokes some pot, plays some "Ghostbusters", and has a damn good time. When he decides to play a practical joke on Jesse Eisenberg, by sneaking up on him in full zombie costume, it ends with him getting shot. As he is dying Abigail Breslin asks him if he has any regrets. He responds, "Garfield, Maybe."
8. Man on the Moon: Jerry Lawler (also: The Cast of "Taxi")
I love watching biopics and seeing how stars play other famous people. But, what happens when a celebrity plays themself? Jerry Lawler, King of Memphis wrestling, did just that in Milos Forman's Andy Kaufman biopic, "Man on the Moon". Lawler relived his fake feud with Kaufman during Kaufman's "Intergender Wrestling Champion" period. The two went on Letterman's talk show to discuss their battle, and the tension ramp up until Lawler slaps the hell out of Andy. Lawler pulled it off without a hitch... again.
7. The Naked Gun/BASEketball: Reggie Jackson
The Queen of England visits America, and goes to a Angels game. Little does she know, there is a plot to kill her. This plot involves brainwashing Angels' right-fielder, Reggie Jackson, and having him shoot her during a bench brawl. I love that Jackson was willing to make himself a pawn in the name of comedy, which he would also do a decade later in the film "BASEketball" (also directed by David Zucker). Jackson gets a small part near the end, and a clip of his third home run in Game 6 against the Dodgers in the opening, and he tells Trey Parker's Cooper (who caught run #3) the importance of winning, and getting to keep the nostalgic aspects. It's worth it just to hear him say the phrase, "Some little shit took off with the third one."
6. Zoolander: Billy Zane
Ok. I'll admit it. I like this cameo for one line. Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) is a fashion model who is losing his top spot to a newcomer named Hansel (Owen Wilson). When the two of them meet in public, things begin to get heated, and the dreamy... I mean... awesome, Billy Zane steps in to change Zoolander's mind about challenging Hansel to a walk-off, Zoolander wards him off. Hansel responds with, "Listen to your friend, Billy Zane. He's a cool dude." That one sentence is good enough for this spot. Oddly enough, this movie involves brainwashing a famous person to assassinate a world leader. This is turning into another list.
5. Dodgeball: Lance Armstrong
Another oddball sports film and another Ben Stiller movie. Vince Vaughn's Peter has just walked out on his team, and is sitting at a casino bar, when Lance Armstrong walks up and notices him. He tells Peter he is a big fan of the obscure sports network, ESPN 8 (the Ocho), and tells Peter he should hurry,or he's going to be late. Peter tells him he decided to quit, and Lance retorts with, "I was thinking of quitting once. When I got diagnosed with brain, lung, and testicular cancer. At the same time." And then asks what is killing Peter that is making him quit. Peter says, "Right now, it kind of feels like shame." Shame on you is right.
4. Happy Gilmore: Bob Barker
I could talk about this, or I you can just watch the host of "The Price is Right" (my favorite game show) dole out a string of lefts and gut shots on one of the most annoying movie stars.
3. Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle: Neal Patrick Harris
We all knew this was going to happen, don't be shocked. This film came out around the time that Harris had been "Lanced", and it made the irony of this, and his character on "How I Met Your Mother", ever so delicious. Here was a man, forced to share his sexual orientation with the world, displaying a love for strippers, ecstasy, and fur-burgers (the funniest euphemism I may have ever heard). This cameo is so outrageous, and so popular, the writers had to put him in the two sequels, and in "American Reunion". In the sequels he trips on mushrooms, gets shot at a whore house, does a Christmas song and dance number, and reveals that his being gay is only an act to pick up more women. Comedic.Genius!
2. Mallrats: Stan Lee
Sure, Stan Lee has had a cameo in every Marvel film, and will probably be in every one until he dies. None of those compare to the bit he had on screen in Kevin Smith's "Mallrats". Brodie (Jason Lee) is jobless, aimless, and, very recently, without the love of his lady (Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Sega). As a ploy to help him get on track with his life, his friend Quint (Jeremy London) hires Stan Lee, who doing a signing at the mall's comic book store, to give him a pep talk. While Lee is trying to talk about romance, all Brodie wants to do is discuss the genitalia of the various superheroes in Lee's repertoire. Hearing the creator of "The Fantastic Four" say that he bagged more women than Mick Jagger will always be a special treat for me. Excelsior!
1. The Man With Two Brains: Merv Griffin
Never has a celebrity played a more twisted version of themselves than Merv played in "The Man with Two Brains". He plays "The Elevator Killer", a man who hides on elevators, and injects his victims with window cleaner. When he arrives near the very end, Martin's character is looking for a way to kill a woman without it looking suspicious, so he can replace her brain with the brain in the jar he has fallen in love with. When he finds he can't, it is done for him when the "Elevator Killer" offs his wife (Kathleen Turner). To Martin's shock Merv Griffin turns out to be the killer, and he asks him, "Why?" Griffin replies, "I don't know. I've always just loved to kill. I really enjoyed it. But then I got famous, and - it's just too hard for me. And so many witnesses. I mean, *everybody* recognized me. I couldn't even lurk anymore. I'd hear, "Who's that lurking over there? Isn't that Merv Griffin?" So I came to Europe to kill. And it's really worked out very well for me" This is the greatest reply anybody could have ever come up with.
