Let me take a moment to say how much I love Kevin Hart. He is a comedic mind like few others. His gift for self-deprecation is unrivaled among today's comedians, and his willingness to look like a fool is a huge credit to Tim Story's "Think Like a Man". There is also a wonderful scene-stealing performance from Gary Owen, as the married white guy of the group, who gets a few great one-liners, and is the only example of a functional relationship in the film. This is easily one of the funniest rom-coms I have seen in a while, that wasn't written by Woody Allen. The All-Star cast is undeniably charming, and bring out the hilarity of a script that is essentially a two hour commercial for Steve Harvey's dating advice book (yes, "Family Fued" Steve Harvey). See this! See it now!
Grade:B+
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: Yes
Starring: Gabrielle Union, Taraji P. Henson, Meagan Good
Director: Tim Story
Writer(s): Keith Merryman & David A. Newman - Book: Steve Harvey
RT: 122 min
Rating: PG-13 for sexual content, some crude humor, and brief drug use
Sometimes I can't figure out how I'm supposed to watch a movie. "Bad Ass" could have been watched one of two ways: as a parody of gangland dramas, or as a straight movie that is so bad, it's good. Honestly, I like it the latter way. This movie plays everything so tongue-in-cheek, that the goofiness is endearing. Danny Trejo plays a Vietnam vet who comes home to no support, and his woman in the arms of another man. It is now decadeslater, and his best friend is murdered, and he is the only person who will do anything about it. I love Trejo in this film. The writing may have been a little silly, but plays this spoof on his usual angry Mexican character with gusto. The major draw of this film is Charles S.Dutton as the gang leader tasked with hunting down Trejo. His over-the-top portrayal is the reason I had trouble deciding what I was watching. I would suggest "Bad Ass" to anyone who appreciates the art of bad film making, or maybe just Danny Trejo.
Grade: C
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Danny Trejo, Charles S. Dutton, Ron Perlman
Director: Craig Moss
Writer(s): Craig Moss & Elliot Tishman
RT: 90 min
Rating: R for violence, some torture, pervasive language, and some sexual content/nudity
I want to start this by saying, "Goon" was an interesting film. As a comedy, it was a terrible, badly written movie, but as a sports drama, it was intriguing and well acted. The film centers around a bouncer (Seann William Scott) who is recruited by a local Minor League hockey team because of his ability to beat people up. Scott has a knack for playing the sensitive loser, and handles the part with ease. It's the lines he often made to say, that really drag down the film. He isn't supposed to be a smart man, but at times he sounds a little too much like a neanderthal, especially in the film's more tender moments. Though he sells the bad writing as if it was gold. Jay Baruchel, who co-wrote the film with Evan Goldberg (Green Hornet), on the other hand, tries to kill every scene he's in with a barrage of expletives and bad jokes that have nothing to do with the moment at hand. If not for him, I may have liked this film more than I did. Its well directed Hockey scenes, and brutal depiction of the sport's violence were captivating, but Baruchel apparently had something else in mind.
Grade: B-
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: Yes (and it is worth it!)
Starring: Sean William Scott, Kim Coates, Liev Schreiber
Director: Michael Dowse
Writer(s): Jay Baruchel & Evan Goldberg - Book: Adam Frattasio & Doug Smith
RT: 92 Min
Rating: R for brutal violence, non-stop language, some strong sexual content and drug use
The one problem I have with Nicholas Sparks' storytelling is his need to have incredibly convoluted endings. "The Lucky One" was a pretty decent, if not somewhat cheesy, film until the finale, and then it all unraveled into a mess of an ending that sucked out all of the human element. Zac Efron gives a surprising solid performance as the strong, silent Marine helping a divorcee (who he considers his guardian angel), her son, and her grandmother run a kennel after returning home from Iraq. Taylor Schilling (the divorcee) makes the film, giving the writing the punch it needs to make it relatable, and Blythe Danner adds humor to keep the film from getting lost in its own plot devices. I realize it isn't necessarily the film makers' fault that the writing is bad, but it doesn'thelp the enjoyment of the film.
Grade: C
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Zac Efron, Taylor Schilling, Blythe Danner
The premise of David Brooks' "ATM" is simple; three co-workers (one on the way home, one driving,and one needing some food, but low on cash) go to an ATM, and are trapped by a psychopath trying to kill them. You're probably thinking two things right now: 1. Is this actually a movie? 2. Why does this sound oddly like "Phone Booth"? I can assure anyone who was not a fan of the Joel Schumacher's celluloid travesty, that this film was filled with more tension in one scene than the entirety of "Phone Booth". This small-time thriller manages to make the most of the enclosed space, cramming it with nail-biting suspense, and shooting it expertly. Brooks uses the camera so fluidly, and cleverly, it hardly feels like you're watching a movie. This is the kind of film that the "Paranormal Activity" crew could learn a thing or two from.
Grade: B+
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: Yes
Starring: Brian Geraghty, Alice Eve, Josh Peck
Director: David Brooks
Writer(s): Chris Sparling
RT: 90 min
Rating: R for violence and terror
The folly of trying to make something classic new, is over-explaining how it could exist in modern times. The basic act of giving purpose to the stupidity of characters like the stooges is a waste. These are three men who exist to exist. The Three Stooges were living cartoons, and they belonged that way. I realize the Farrelly Brothers have a knack for making outrageous characters human, and giving them more soul than most comedy writers of their generation, but this is the wrong set of guys to do that with. I never thought casting three "what's-his-faces" as the Stooges was a bad, but watching these three do bad impressions of Larry, Moe, and Curly was a real downer. I used to get excited about Farrelly Brothers films, between this and "Hall Pass", I'm not sure they're up to "Kingpin" standards anymore.
Grade: D-
3D: No (oddly enough)
Easter Egg: Yes, but it's dumb.
Starring: Sean Hayes, Chris Diamantopoulos, Will Sasso
Director: Bobby & Peter Farrelly
Writer(s): Mike Cerrone, Booby Farrelly, & Peter Farrelly
RT: 92 min
Rating: PG for slapstick action violence, some rude and suggestive humor including language
I watched this preview, thinking to myself the whole time, "It's 'Escape From New York. IN SPACE!" I was wrong. Dead wrong. This is not even close to the excitement, or the sheer badassery, of John Carpenter's action classic. Guy Pearce does all he can with the film, cracking wise like a space-age John McClane, but he can't carry the film all by himself. The rest of the cast, including Peter Stormare (one of the most underrated actors), seem disinterested, or down right bored through most of the film. Whoever did the special effects, did the absolute worst job in the film, except maybe the editor, with what appears to be a rushed job. These effects are an eye-sore that make every shot with them extremely difficult to watch. This is one of the poorest films with Luc Besson's man on it.
Grade: C-
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Guy Pearce, Maggie Grace, Peter Stormare
Director: Stephen St. Leger & James Mather
Writer(s): Stephen St. Leger & James Mather & Luc Besson
RT: 95 min
Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, and language including some sexual references
I actually failed this trailer. I saw the names Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard involved, and I still failed it. I'm glad to say that I was mostly wrong. The trailer was composed primarily of the straight forward "teenagers getting picked off one by one" style horror movie, and had next to nothing of the subplot (I won't it ruin here, if you haven't seen it). The whole twist on this film is the only thing that saves it from being a bad cross between "The Evil Dead" and "Scream", which is what the trailer led me to believe it was. The five college students don't really add anything to the film, except for Fran Kranz, who plays Marty, and, at times, drag down most of what the rest of the film is trying to accomplish. Their performances are flat and uninteresting, but with the characters being the secondary focus of the movie, the lack of interest in them helps sometimes. The writing, when it is at its peaks, is inspired, and absolutely hysterical, and reminiscent of some of the better episodes of Whedon's "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". I wouldn't rank this among the best of the horror-comedy genre, but it isn't a waste.
Grade: B
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: Disturbingly No
Starring: Richard Jenkins, Bradley Whitford, Fran Kranz
Director: Drew Goddard
Writer(s): Joss Whedon & Drew Goddard
RT: 95 min
Rating: R for strong bloody horror violence and gore, language, drug use and some sexuality/nudity
If there is anything I learned from "The Raid', it is this: swinging grown men around by their legs is easier than it looks (pictured above). This is the second no-frills action film I've seen this year, and it may be the best action film I've seen in a long time. Writer/director/editor Gareth Evans has created a fast-paced movie that will get your pulse racing, and steal your breath with every blow. The over-the-top violence makes for an interesting film that gets going, and never stops, filling the screen with brutality from frame to frame. The actors give every drop of sweat to give this movie the polish it deserves, and their performances are truly top-notch. With minimal plot and a lot of violence, this is the perfect action flick to make an hour and a half of your life a little better.
Grade: A
3D:N/A
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Iko Uwais, Ananda George, Ray Sahetapy
Director: Gareth Evans
Writer(s): Gareth Evans
RT: 101 min
Rating: R for strong brutal bloody violence throughout, and language
Where were you in '62? George Lucas created a film that captured the essence of a generation, and managed to grab a pivotal voice from that generation. Wolfman Jack, for those of you who don't know, was a disc jockey who, along with Alan Freed, helped popularize rock 'n' roll in the early sixties. Throughout the film, he is heard over the radio's of the characters' cars as they cruise down the strip. It isn't until near the end, when Richard Dreyfuss' Curt finds his studio outside of Modesto, that you see him. He is looking for a blonde in the Thunderbird, so he heads to the studio, and hands Jack, who he assumes is the station manager, a message for her. He turns when he hears the famous howl of the Wolfman, and realizes he had been talking to him.
9. Zombieland: Bill Murray
There is one good scene in this movie, and it happens to have Bill Murray in it. The rest is just filler. The four character's break into his house, only to find him still occupying it, pretending to be a zombie (so he won't be killed). He hangs out with Woody Harrelson and Emma Stone, smokes some pot, plays some "Ghostbusters", and has a damn good time. When he decides to play a practical joke on Jesse Eisenberg, by sneaking up on him in full zombie costume, it ends with him getting shot. As he is dying Abigail Breslin asks him if he has any regrets. He responds, "Garfield, Maybe."
8. Man on the Moon: Jerry Lawler (also: The Cast of "Taxi")
I love watching biopics and seeing how stars play other famous people. But, what happens when a celebrity plays themself? Jerry Lawler, King of Memphis wrestling, did just that in Milos Forman's Andy Kaufman biopic, "Man on the Moon". Lawler relived his fake feud with Kaufman during Kaufman's "Intergender Wrestling Champion" period. The two went on Letterman's talk show to discuss their battle, and the tension ramp up until Lawler slaps the hell out of Andy. Lawler pulled it off without a hitch... again.
7. The Naked Gun/BASEketball: Reggie Jackson
The Queen of England visits America, and goes to a Angels game. Little does she know, there is a plot to kill her. This plot involves brainwashing Angels' right-fielder, Reggie Jackson, and having him shoot her during a bench brawl. I love that Jackson was willing to make himself a pawn in the name of comedy, which he would also do a decade later in the film "BASEketball" (also directed by David Zucker). Jackson gets a small part near the end, and a clip of his third home run in Game 6 against the Dodgers in the opening, and he tells Trey Parker's Cooper (who caught run #3) the importance of winning, and getting to keep the nostalgic aspects. It's worth it just to hear him say the phrase, "Some little shit took off with the third one."
6. Zoolander: Billy Zane
Ok. I'll admit it. I like this cameo for one line. Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) is a fashion model who is losing his top spot to a newcomer named Hansel (Owen Wilson). When the two of them meet in public, things begin to get heated, and the dreamy... I mean... awesome, Billy Zane steps in to change Zoolander's mind about challenging Hansel to a walk-off, Zoolander wards him off. Hansel responds with, "Listen to your friend, Billy Zane. He's a cool dude." That one sentence is good enough for this spot. Oddly enough, this movie involves brainwashing a famous person to assassinate a world leader. This is turning into another list.
5. Dodgeball: Lance Armstrong
Another oddball sports film and another Ben Stiller movie. Vince Vaughn's Peter has just walked out on his team, and is sitting at a casino bar, when Lance Armstrong walks up and notices him. He tells Peter he is a big fan of the obscure sports network, ESPN 8 (the Ocho), and tells Peter he should hurry,or he's going to be late. Peter tells him he decided to quit, and Lance retorts with, "I was thinking of quitting once. When I got diagnosed with brain, lung, and testicular cancer. At the same time." And then asks what is killing Peter that is making him quit. Peter says, "Right now, it kind of feels like shame." Shame on you is right.
4. Happy Gilmore: Bob Barker
I could talk about this, or I you can just watch the host of "The Price is Right" (my favorite game show) dole out a string of lefts and gut shots on one of the most annoying movie stars.
3. Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle: Neal Patrick Harris
We all knew this was going to happen, don't be shocked. This film came out around the time that Harris had been "Lanced", and it made the irony of this, and his character on "How I Met Your Mother", ever so delicious. Here was a man, forced to share his sexual orientation with the world, displaying a love for strippers, ecstasy, and fur-burgers (the funniest euphemism I may have ever heard). This cameo is so outrageous, and so popular, the writers had to put him in the two sequels, and in "American Reunion". In the sequels he trips on mushrooms, gets shot at a whore house, does a Christmas song and dance number, and reveals that his being gay is only an act to pick up more women. Comedic.Genius!
2. Mallrats: Stan Lee
Sure, Stan Lee has had a cameo in every Marvel film, and will probably be in every one until he dies. None of those compare to the bit he had on screen in Kevin Smith's "Mallrats". Brodie (Jason Lee) is jobless, aimless, and, very recently, without the love of his lady (Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Sega). As a ploy to help him get on track with his life, his friend Quint (Jeremy London) hires Stan Lee, who doing a signing at the mall's comic book store, to give him a pep talk. While Lee is trying to talk about romance, all Brodie wants to do is discuss the genitalia of the various superheroes in Lee's repertoire. Hearing the creator of "The Fantastic Four" say that he bagged more women than Mick Jagger will always be a special treat for me. Excelsior!
1. The Man With Two Brains: Merv Griffin
Never has a celebrity played a more twisted version of themselves than Merv played in "The Man with Two Brains". He plays "The Elevator Killer", a man who hides on elevators, and injects his victims with window cleaner. When he arrives near the very end, Martin's character is looking for a way to kill a woman without it looking suspicious, so he can replace her brain with the brain in the jar he has fallen in love with. When he finds he can't, it is done for him when the "Elevator Killer" offs his wife (Kathleen Turner). To Martin's shock Merv Griffin turns out to be the killer, and he asks him, "Why?" Griffin replies, "I don't know. I've always just loved to kill. I really enjoyed it. But then I got famous, and - it's just too hard for me. And so many witnesses. I mean, *everybody* recognized me. I couldn't even lurk anymore. I'd hear, "Who's that lurking over there? Isn't that Merv Griffin?" So I came to Europe to kill. And it's really worked out very well for me" This is the greatest reply anybody could have ever come up with.
I did a five favorites for good ol' Bruce Willis a couple of weeks ago, and now he's given me ammunition for "Pass or Fail".
Pass: Moonrise Kingdom
Wes Anderson, you sly bastard! This is exactly what I needed, at the time that I needed it. Though I am excited for the big budget comic films, the sequels/prequels that may not be what audiences are asking for, and Pixar's rebound from "Cars 2", I need this more (minus DKR)! When I hear the name Wes Anderson, my only response is, "How much?" Take Anderson's quirky directing style, mix in some French music, throw in some regular cast members (Bill Murray, Jason Schwartzman), add some big names I can't resist (Edward Norton, Tilda Swinton), and a dash of Bruce Willis, and you have the recipe for the finest trailer I have put on this blog so far! I did not realize this was coming out when I did my must see list earlier this year, or it would have been very high on it.
Fail: The Cold Light of Day
Yawn... A thinly plotted spy film about a man whose dad is secret agent without him knowing about. The usual twists and turns, who can trust characters, and stolen mysterious item makes me want to turn off my brain, and watch something that won't be quite so convoluted. Like day-time soaps. Whoever is responsible for this mess looks like they loved Stanley Donen's "Charade", but forgot that they were in no way Stanley Donen. Also, who is Henry Cavill?! Oh, he's the guy from "The Immortals" and a direct to video "Hellraiser" sequel? Nope! No! Forget it!
Extra Pass: Moonlighting: I've been wanting to find a reason to put a "Moonlighting" on here, and here it is. From the "Taming of the Shrew" episode, entitled "Atomic Shakespeare", here is some "Good Lovin'".
Unofficially this is the fourth movie in the "American Pie" franchise, if you ignore the four straight-to-video disasters. The creators of the "Harold & Kumar" movies, Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg, took the reigns on this film, and came up with a product that was equal parts touching and madcap funny. The cast moves back into their roles with joyous familiarity, and they make a great go of it, getting into the same silly messes they have been getting into thirteen years ago. There are some transparent moments, when the set-up happens so obviously, the pay-off just doesn't seem like it is worth it, or forced moments when the situation doesn't seem honest enough. Overall, the laughs are there, and they are hearty. When the film switches to the heart-to-heart moments, or the references to the earlier installments, it shows the writers strengths, and makes it truly watchable.
Grade: B
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: Sadly No
Starring: Jason Biggs, Sean William Scott, Eugene Levy
Director: Jon Hurwitz & Hayden Schlossberg
Writer(s): Jon Hurwitz & Hayden Schlossberg
RT: 113 min
Rating: R for crude and sexual content throughout, nudity, language, brief drug use and teen drinking
"The Hunter" is a film about a man who is contracted by a biotech corporation to go to Tasmania, and hunt down the last of the Tasmanian tigers. While there, he befriends a woman who has lost her husband, and is left with her two young children. He tries to help the family, while fighting off out-of-work locals with a dislike of Americans. This movie showcases Willem Dafoe brilliantly, and it gives him the freedom he needs to display his incredible talents, and he brings his character to life with believable shades of humanity. The story is even and wonderfully crafted, the directing is patient, and the cinematography captures the Australian landscape perfectly. If you can get your hands on this movie, I would absolutely suggest it.
Grade: A-
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Willem Dafoe, Sam Neill, Frances O' Connor
Director: Daniel Nettheim
Writer(s): Alice Addison - Novel: Julia Leigh - Original Adaptation: Wain Fimeri
RT: 100 min
Rating: R for language and brief violence
This week actually saw the release of two trailers I'm more than intrigued by. Both of these trailers featured the talents of the Oscar-nominated actor, Alec Baldwin. I've been a big fan of Baldwin since I first saw "Beetlejuice", and enjoy watching him weekly as Jack Donaghy, his Emmy-winning role on NBC's "30 Rock". Let's take a look at two movies he has coming out this year.
Pass: To Rome With Love
After "Midnight in Paris", I'm excited to see whatever Woody Allen has to offer. This looks like the kind of off-beat romantic comedy he excels at, with the kind of first-rate casting he tends to work really well with. His lead, Jesse Eisenberg, usually plays the awkward Jewish character in his films, so I'm assuming he will be able to handle the "Woody Allen" role under the director's tutelage. It's also nice to see Penelope Cruz back in one of his films, because her role in "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" was as perfect for her as a Pedro Almadovar film. And... ROBERTO BENIGNI?!?! I must see this movie right now!
Fail: Rock of Ages
Seriously, what the hell? What is this garbage?! There is one thing I hate more than a bad musical, and that is a bad musical that uses other people's music, instead of their own bad music. This film has nothing in it that makes me want to see it, other than a few actors I like. The music they're using? Journey, Twisted Sister, Starship, REO Speedwagon, other corny 80's fare that I would rather not listen to in a musical format (especially with Russell Brand in it). The awful mash-ups don't help with my feeling of dread. I'm also getting tired of the 80's worship in film. Leave it alone! Just because you did a lot of coke, and enjoyed guys dressing like women while singing about "not taking it" or "kick-starting your heart", doesn't mean the decade was worthy of idolization. There is a reason "That 80's Show" didn't last longer than a season.
Extra Pass: 30 Rock: I never get tired of this scene. No matter how many times I see it.
There are a lot of awful things about "21 Jump Street". A lot! The worst thing about it is the need to make everything a joke. These two horrendous police officers a so bad at their jobs, they screw up literally everything they touch. Be it school plays, commandeered vehicles, or an entire undercover operation, which they're too stupid to be a part of in the first place. This is just another film that took an existing property and turned it into a parody of itself, but it's not the worst in the group. I guess this what you get when one of your two stars has a writing credit, and both of them have producing credits. There isn't much in this film, however, that is worth the time you spend watching it, not even Ice Cube. What kind of world is this, when I don't like Ice Cube?!
Grade: D-
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Ice Cube
Director: Phil Lord & Chris Miller
Writer(s): Michael Bacall (also Story) - Story: Jonah Hill - TV Show: Patrick Hasburgh & Stephen J. Cannell
There's something going on with comedies these days! They're becoming increasingly emotionally aware. Spoofs and farces seem to be a thing of the past. Now writers and directors want to make films that have great storylines, and touching performances that make you happy that you paid money to see such wonderful material. Jason Segel seems to be leading this charge ("The Muppets" anyone?), and Ed Helms isn't doing too bad with films like last year's "Cedar Rapids". The Duplass Brothers give you a portrait of a family that has fallen apart,and have each separately lost their ways in life. Along with Susan Sarandon, the three members of this family are sympathetic human beings, and this film's climax is surprising and heartbreaking. This is the best example of film I have seen so far this year. Hopefully the rest of the year will follow.
Grade: A
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Jason Segel, Ed Helmes. Susan Saradon
Director: Jay & Mark Duplass
Writer(s); Jay & Mark Duplass
RT: 83 min
Rating: R for language including sexual references and some drug use
Sequels! Sometimes they ruin the memory of the original, sometimes they expand upon the story, and create a deeper experience for the audience. In the case of "Wrath of the Titans", there is a third option: the film that simply exists to exist. The first movie did well, so the studio pushed out a second one, shoved it full of monsters and action sequences, and called it a day. It does nothing new, doesn't give a wider scope to anything, and stars Sam Worthington. I'm not actually sure how this guy became the new leading action star, but he has no charisma, no flare. His performance in "Man on a Ledge" earlier this year, was the best I've ever seen him, but it still wasn't enough to carry the film, and his job as Perseus was thankfully relieved by a great supporting cast, including Bill Nighy as a eccentric weapons maker who helps Perseus' team enter Hades (always the show stealer that guy).
Grade: C
3D: If you must
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Finnes
Director: Johnathan Liebesman
Writer(s): Dan Mezeau & David Johnson - Story: Greg Berlanti - Original Film: Beverly Cross
RT: 99 min
Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of fantasy violence and action
What happened to Julia Roberts? She was never the greatest actress, but she had clout and standing, and could have had her pick from any movie she wanted. Now she's stuck doing B-list films like "Larry Crowne" and this sad excuse for a Snow White re-telling. The writers try so hard to make this film as edgy as possible, by making the queen utterly sarcastic, the dwarves a band of thieves, and Snow White a sword-wielding heroine. They fail by making an overly talky, super-stylized (though the stylization isn't without some merit) cartoon of a movie, that offers little in the ways of humor, plot, or interest. If this year's "Snow White and the Huntsman" is as bad as this film, I would rather take a bite of the poison apple than see it.
Grade: D
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No (though I do love the Bollywood dance number over the beginning of the credits)
Starring: Lily Collins, Julia Roberts, Armie Hammer
Director: Tarsem Singh
Writer(s): Jason Keller and Melisa Wallack (also Story) - Original Story: Jacob & Wilhelm Grimm
RT: 106 min
Rating: PG for some fantasy action and mild rude humor
