Thursday, February 2, 2012

Pass or Fail: Is it Safe... House?

This week's "Pass or Fail" is all about two films with the word safe in the title.

Pass: Safe House:



Honestly, I'm sure I want to see this film that badly, but this action packed trailer at least sells the illusion of how good it can be. Denzel Washington and Ryan Reynolds are only a few faces that make me hope this isn't a pile of absolute crap. Brendan Gleeson, Vera Farmiga, Sam Shepard, and Robert Patrick all show up to the party. T-1000 then decides to waterboard Denzel, and a whole bunch of shooting starts. Set to the soundtrack of Jay-Z and Kanye West's "No Church in the Wild", with Frank Ocean crooning lines like, "What a king to a god? What's a god to a non-believer?", it feels a little difficult to not want to watch this trailer a few times in a row.

Fail: Safe



Do you remember when Bruce Willis made this movie in the '90s, and it was called "Mercury Rising"? Well, it happened, and it was probably much better than this one is going to be. Statham is playing some random guy who decided to take matters into his own hands when he sees some other random guys trying to kidnap a little Asian girl. The girl is being hunted because she saw some numbers, and of course the little Asian girl is good with numbers, because what Asian kid doesn't love the hell out of math? This trailer is made super boring by the bad samples of dialogue, and the music underscoring it. The other trailer had Jigga and Yeezy making magic, this one has Tool reject band, A Perfect Circle, singing some boring song about being forcefully penetrated by a tire iron, or something. And will someone tell what is wrong the subtitles at the end of this trailer? Pick a size and stick with it Boaz Yakin! This isn't some Denis Leary Ford commercial.

Extra Pass: Clerks: the Animated Series: Randall and Dante torture a costumer (voiced by Brian Posehn) by using the most famous line from "Marathon Man"!

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Perfect Sense (2011)

Uncommon Sense
The plot to this film sounds like a joke, a chef and an epidemiologist fall in love while everyone in the world begin to lose their sensory perception, but I assure it is not. Ewan McGregor (the chef) and Eva Green (the epidemiologist) play the couple to perfection. Their courtship among chaos is a master stroke of acting and film making, and one of the most heart-warming romances ever portrayed on screen. Kim Fupz Aakeson's writing is so true to life, and is steeped in emotions so deeply felt, you get lost in the characters heads trying to figure out just how you handle the situation at hand. Director David MacKenzie's visuals were absolutely stunning to watch. There is a montage where hunger takes over the planet before the second sense is lost that is so well shot and edited, it becomes frightening. Not something I was expecting going into this film,but I'm glad I got it. If this comes anywhere near you on next Friday, see it!

Grade: A-


Starring: Ewan McGregor, Eva Green, Ewan Bremner
Director: David MacKenzie
Writer(s): Kim Fupz Aakeson
RT: 92 min
Rating: R for Nudity, Language, Sexuality, Some Other Stuff, I'm sure

Man on a Ledge (2012)


Asger Leth's feature debut is a straight forward, predictable movie, but it isn't without its merits. Sam Worthington and Elizabeth Banks are sturdy in their roles, but the film really shines when their co-stars, Jamie Bell and Genesis Rodriguez, are on screen. These two actors are funny, and share a fantastic chemistry. The biggest problem with "Man on the Ledge" is the whole film isn't about them. Leth's directing doesn't hold anything spectacular, and neither does Pablo F. Fenjves' script, which has a few glaring plot holes in it, but the stellar cast really brings out what is good about it. I was afraid it was going to be a claustrophobic film with low ambitions. thankfully it managed to break out of that. Just not enough.

Grade: C+


Starring: Sam Worthington, Elizabeth Banks, Edward Burns
Director: Asger Leth
Writer: Pablo F. Fenjves
RT: 102 min
Rating: PG-13 for violence and brief strong language

Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie (2012)

Stupidus Maximus
Wow, um... wow. Here is a film that can only be described as mind numbingly unfunny. I really feel like this should not have happened. I'll admit that I have a bias against Tim and Eric for making some horrible television shows, but this really took the top spot as the worst thing they have done. With funding from Funny or Die, and a little bit of celebrity endorsement (this was a much better use of Robert Loggia), they manage to kill an hour and a half, and the audience's brain cells, with line after line of horrible dialogue. You can really only give them credit for one thing, and that is not abandoning the low budget directing style that made hem famous. However, for someone who does not enjoy their work, this is like giving credit to Ed Wood for not giving up on his style. That was unfair to Mr. Wood. I apologize.

Grade: F

Imagine this for and hour and a half. If you can't, don't see it.

Starring: Tim Heidecker, Eric Wareheim, John C. Reilly
Director: Tim & Eric
Writer(s): Tim & Eric, Jonathan Kriesel, Doug Lussenhop, Jon Mugar
RT: 93 min
Rating: R

Sunday, January 29, 2012

5 Favorites: Morgan Freeman

Wednesday is February 1st, and the start of Black History Month. In honor of this, and the fact that the Academy Awards are at the end of the month, I'm going to do a full month of my Five Favorites dedicated to black Oscar winners. I'm going to start with Morgan Freeman, because he is a Grade A badass. Freeman won a  Best Supporting Actor Oscar in 2004 for the film "Million Dollar Baby" after being nominated three other times (Best Supporting Actor - 'Street Smart" (1987), Best Actor - "Driving Miss Daisy" (1989), Best Actor - "The Shawshank Redemption" (1994)) He has since only been nominated once, for "Invictus" in 2009, and continues to roll out film after film, and narrate everything in sight, including every Visa commercial starting with the Summer Olympics in 2008.

5. The Dark Knight (2008)




It would be stupid of me to do a list of my favorite performances by anyone in either of Nolan's Batman films, and not put it on the list. Freeman plays Lucius Fox, the CEO of Wayne Enterprises, and enabler to Bruce Wayne's vigilante lifestyle. I picked this over "Batman Begins" because this is the film that Fox went from a simple R&D lab geek, to the voice of reason. He helps Batman set up a few elaborate plans, and even helps out in the field. Lucius is just an all around cool guy.

4. Deep Impact (1998)



Every now and then two movies will be released that mirror each other in so many ways. In 1998 it was "Deep Impact" and "Armageddon". "Armageddon" was terrible, and "Deep Impact" was superior in every way possible. It had a tense, realistic script, characters that resembled human beings, and actors that weren't Ben Affleck and Liv Tyler. Most of all it had Morgan Freeman. As the President! In 1998 a black president seemed like the most fictitious part of the film, but Freeman sold it. He had poise, grace, and told it like it was. 
I guess what I'm trying to say is Freeman 2012.

3. Glory (1989)




There isn't much I enjoy more than a group of people rising up against fascists that are holding them back. "Glory" was a great film about an all black volunteer Union regiment fighting against the South in the American Civil War. Freeman is Sgt. Maj. John Rawlins, a gravedigger turned soldier who acts as a conduit between the white officers and the black soldiers, and he plays him with force and intelligence. Denzel Washington may have won the Academy Award that year, but Freeman deserved it, at least a nomination. Instead he got it for "Driving Miss Daisy".


2. Unforgiven (1992)


"Unforgiven" is one of those films that seems to make people excited by the mere mention of it. It is easily the best film Clint Eastwood has directed, so far, and in a career that includes "Mystic River", "Million Dollar Baby", and "Letters from Iwo Jima", that may be a very bold statement. It's a western that dares to question its own violent nature. Ned Logan is a former associate of Eastwood's Will Munny, who is brought back into the gunslinging lifestyle to ride one last job. Freeman plays him so well, so brilliantly, you wonder why Eastwood ever bothers to act with anybody else.

1. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)


Did you think it was going to be anything else? "Shawkshank" is number one on my list of films from the 1990's, and everybody in it is at the top of their game. Freeman may have lost the Oscar to Tom Hanks, for "Forrest Gump" of all things, but he deserved it. His portrayal of Red, an inmate who is able to get you anything you want, is even and beautiful. You watch him grow through his friendship with Tim Robbins' Andy Dufresne, as he watches him play the system until he breaks free of it. His narration of the story is some of the most well written in the history of Hollywood, and speaks every line like he is doing you a favor. So, thank the man. For he is truly the man!

Friday, January 27, 2012

2011: My 20 Favorite Films of the Year

2011 is over! Well, it has been for nearly a month now. I was just behind on my movie watching, and wanted to have a good amount of films on this list, and next week's list as well. I wasn't expecting much from 2011. After reading what was set to be released, it seemed like a fairly boring year. I mean, Spielberg directing a film about a horse, Ryan Gosling in a movie about driving, Scorsese doing a kiddie flick? But, that all changed when I started watching the movies, and they were AWESOME! Well, some films looked like shit, and were, but that's next week. These 20 films, on the other hand, certainly weren't, and like so many on the internets, I will now thrust my opinions upon you. I know you all have some opinions of your own, so share them with me.

20. The Trip



Two men, who know nothing food, tour small restaurants in England, because one (Steve Coogan) has been left by his girlfriend, and still has the reservations. This mockumentary is witty and fun, but what else would you expect from the two actors, and the director, from "Tristram Shandy"? You can't help but enjoy watching the two compete with each other during their time together, over anything and everything.

The moment I feel in love: Rob and Steve have an argument over impressions of Michael Caine. "You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!"

19. Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol




Brad Bird takes the reins of a well known franchise, and leads it into the best possible direction. After John Woo's sad excuse for a sequel the franchise seemed to be over, but J.J. Abrams took it over with three, and found the best man for the job with four. This installment is a fast, fun action film that leaves you absolutely breathless.

The moment I feel in love: The incredible opening sequence following the fuse to the always exciting "Mission: Impossible" theme.

18. Rise of the Planet of the Apes




I think I only did 20 films on this list so I could include this movie (don't say you weren't warned). This reboot is right along films like "Batman Begins" and "Casino Royale" for its ability to breath life into a stagnant franchise. Weta Digital's special effects were phenomenal, and John Lithgow's tragic performance anchored the human element of the story. I used to think "Escape From the Planet of the Apes" was my favorite of the series, but "Rise" has made an argument to dethrone it.

The moment I feel in love:  A confused John Lithgow almost steals a neighbor's car, and Ceasar comes to his rescue.

17. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy




Gary Oldman leads a cast with superb depth in this adaptation of of John le Carre's novel. The story is tense and layered, the characters are shady and clever. The story unravels brilliantly and completely sucks you into the lies and intrigue. With beautiful sets, costumes, and cinematography, the 1970's stunningly come to life. Tomas Alfredson has created a simply wonderful film.


The moment I fell in love: Oldman's George smiley tells the tale of the time he interrogated a Russian spy.

16. Ides of March




I like films about politics about as much as I hate actual politicians themselves. George Clooney's "Ides" is another soon-to-be classic to throw on that pile. As for Ryan Gosling, he just kept giving performance after stunning performance this year, and this was just one of three that put him right on top of the new generation of leading men.

The moment I fell in love: The camera pulls back as Ryan Gosling is giving a speech to reveal that he is doing a mic check.

15. Bridesmaids




The fact that anyone would label this a "chick flick", or the "famale 'Hangover'", is an insult to how funny and heartfelt this movie was (mostly because "The Hangover" wasn't any good). Kristen Wiig showed Hollywood that women have a place in comedy, and shouldn't just be brain-dead romantic comedy stars (I'm looking at you Sandra Bullock). I may not be the first person to say it, but the scene pictured above, may be the hardest I laughed at a film all year.

The moment I fell in love: The most awkward sing-off you've ever seen between Kristen Wiig and Rose Byrne.

14. Win Win




Tom McCarthy made one of the best coming-of-age tales in recent memory. Paul Giamatti and Amy Ryan are both excellent as a couple who take the grandson of an elderly man, in Gimatti's custody, into their home. They bond, they wrestle, and you get compelling story about a a young man dealing with his rough upbringing, and a man trying to deal with a failing law practice.

The moment I fell in love: Giamatti has a panic attack, and Bobby Cannavale tries to help him through it.

13. Young Adult




Speaking of great coming-of-age tales, here is one so unbelievably twisted it actually made me a little sad. Charlize Theron is vicious and terrible. You want her to fail so badly, but you don't enjoy watching her do it, because she is so pathetic and broken. Patton Oswalt is her, sort of,  Jiminy Cricket, one she insults and berates, and he adds a great sense of humor, and tragedy, to the piece. Diablo Cody's script, and Jason Reitman's directing, are incredible, and make this one of my favorite films of the year.

The moment I fell in love: Theron tries to convince the woman at the front desk of her hotel that she doesn't have a dog in her purse.

12. Meek's Cutoff




This historical drama about a group of families lost on the Oregon Trail is quiet, bleak, and dramatic. I can't claim that this movie is entertaining, but it is a gripping, realistic portrayal of life in the times of Westward Expansion. Paranoia and mistrust run rampant through the group as they fall further into despair, and all hope seems to be lost. The cast is powerful, the directing is flawless, and the script is tense and well paced.

The moment I fell in love: You don't fall in love with this movie. You lose yourself in it.

11. Drive




A quiet man, who drives odd jobs for criminals with no questions asked, is pushed over the edge. This is another well-paced film with bursts of action, and extreme violence. The performances by the leads are muted, and beautiful. The supporting cast is filled with impressive names, doing great jobs. Unfortunately, marketing for the movie was very poor, but it was much better than anyone expected.

The moment I fell in love: Ryan Gosling, with two men in the car, parks in the Staples Center at theperfect moment, after a Lakers game, and just walks away.

10. Beginners




Ewan McGregor plays the son of a man (Christopher Plummer) who is 75, has cancer, and just came out of the closet. The film, from there, becomes a delightful tale of two men falling in love. Plummer with his much younger boyfriend leading up to his death, and McGregor with the enchanting Melanie Laurent in the wake of his father's passing. Mike Mills writes and directs this quirky film, and gets some great moments from his top notch cast.

The moment I fell in love:  Plummer calls his son to tell him about his time at the club, and does his impression of house music.

9. War Horse/The Adventures of Tintin




Spielberg had the best one-two punch of this holiday season. "War Horse" was a breathtaking war epic with a lot of heart, and "Tintin" was eye-popping animated action film, that was as fun as it was thrilling. I loved them both, and because they came from the same awe-inspiring director, I had to put them together. If you haven't seen either of these, you should. Equally great, equally beautiful.

The moment I fell in love: "War Horse" - Albert and Joey plow a field that is considered unplowable.
                                            "Tintin" - The charming inside joke of the Tintin street drawing.

8. Attack the Block




Joe Cornish takes stereotypes, and flips them in this sci-fi horror about a group of inner city youth fighting aliens that attack their high-rise. The characters start this film as the villains, and end up the heroes in a movie where violence and humor collide. The cast makes every moment of the film a pure delight with insanely perfect performances. This movie is so good that I wouldn't be surprised to see the American remake in the next couple of years. Trust, bruv.

The moment I fell in love: Two foul-mouthed primary-schoolers want to join the gang under the monikers of Mayhem and Probs.

7. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo




I never red Steig Larsson's novel. I saw the original film. So, when people tell me that it doesn't do anything to outdo the other film, that means nothing to me. David Fincher made a raw, visceral film about two people trying to find a killer among a family of crazy recluses, among other things. I couldn't believe how much this movie made me squirm, and how much I loved it for that fact.

The moment I fell in love: Rooney Mara's mohawk...

6. Moneyball



This is one of two sports films to make it onto the list, and it's mostly about statistics and analysis. Brad Pitt turns in one of the finest performances of his career, and Jonah Hill... doesn't play Jonah Hill. I never felt so compelled by the goings on in the front office of a sports club, because mostly you get the stories of the players trying to fight against those guys. Everything about this film is strong, right down to Peter Bogdonavich's cameo at the end.

The moment I fell in love: It's a film about baseball nerds! I fell in love during the trailer.

5. The Descendants



A film about loss, love, and family. This film may have struck such a chord with me for the personal things my family has been through this year, or maybe it was just that good. The daughters both sold this film for me. They're real portrayals of young girls in pain, and not plastic characters like so many Hollywood females. Clooney gives one of best performances in years, and Alexander Paynes shoots the Hawaiian landscape so perfectly.

The moment I fell in love: Clooney has to take daughter to a classmate's house to make her apologize for picking on the girl.

4. The Artist


This is the first of three films about this era on this list, and for good reason. Michel Hazanavicius created something wonderful. Capturing the feel of simpler time in film-making, from the way it was shot, to the performances of all of the actors. It is pure enjoyment all around, and I'm still replaying some of  the moments in my head.

The moment I fell in love: George has a nightmare about the coming era of talkies, and everything has sound, except his voice.

3. Midnight in Paris




Woody Allen has a masterpiece on his hands. Everything about this film is wonderful. Every actor. Every shot. Every line. I could not wipe the smile off of my face for days after seeing this. Allen has always been a man stuck in the art of the past, so to see him write a love letter this fantastic to a time he obsesses about was beautiful. Thank you, Woody. It's nice to see you so passionate again.

The moment I fell in love: Gil has seemingly traveled back in time, and bumped into F. Scott, and Zelda, Fitzgerald at a party.

2. The Muppets



When I first saw that a new Muppet movie was coming out, I had the same reation of Kermit introducing "The Muppet Show". I knew by the names involved that it would be a good film, but what I didn't realize was that it would be such an emotional experience. The characters were more in depth than they had ever been, and it was nice to see them break from the downward spiral the Muppets had been on for more than a decade. If you don't know what I mean, watch the "Muppet Wizard of Oz".


The moment I fell in love: "Life's a happy song, when someone's by your side to sing along."

1. Hugo



I'm not sure I can even make it through this recap without tearing up. With "Hugo" Martin Scorsese did three things: 1. prove that he can do anything. Family film, gangster flicks, a good Nicolas Cage movie. He does it all. 2. Showed that Pixar does not hold an iron grip emotionally poignant family movies. 3. Convince audiences that 3D can be used to expand the theater experience instead of a cheap, distracting gimmick (the first person to mention "Avatar" is getting elbowed).

The moment I fell in love: The opening shot of the film. The gears of the clock turn into the busy streets of Paris.

Next Week I'm doing the 20 worst films of the year. Please, any opinions are welcome. Did you have a film you felt belonged on this list? What films didn't? Did you like any on here? If so, why?

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Pass or Fail: The Battleship Grey

Two trailers. On thing in common. Zero room for Error! This week I look at two films coming out this year starring Liam Neeson. 

Pass: The Grey


Does anybody remember when seeing Liam Neeson in a film meant it was going to be dramatic Oscar bait? Schindler's List, Rob Roy, Kinsey? Well, something funny happened. Liam Neeson has decided to beat the living hell out of everything. EVERYTHING! Now he has turned his attention to smacking wolves around. No, you didn't misread that. He is strapping tiny liquor bottles to his hand and punching wild wolves in the mouths! I don't care if this film is any good. This trailer has the guy from "Nell" being Wolverine, but more awesome. 

Fail: Battleship

Hasbro, I've seen all three "Transformers" movies already, and I don't think a fourth one is necessary. Wait, what? This is not a "Transformers" movie? This is a film based off of Battleship? The board game? Oh boy... I don't understand why this has happened. I guess people shelling out money hand over fist to see Michael Bay's abortion of cinema has put the toy company in the mood to keep remaking the same movie, over and over again. Oh, and Rihanna is apparently in this film. No, thank you.

Extra Pass: Warwick Davis, Ricky Gervais, and Stephen Merchant improv with Liam Neeson on the series "Life's Too Short". People offended by jokes about AIDS should probably not watch this.