I love horror movies. I often refer to myself as a horror movie junkie, but they bigger they are, the less they scare me. What frightens me are low key films where the threats are unseen, or off in the shadows (like Merv Griffin). Films that are intimate, and focus on a small group of characters. Such is the case with Bobcat Goldthwait's "Willow Creek". It is scary. Not in the way most people want horror films to be scary: it isn't gory, it isn't loud or flashy, and it isn't full of jump scares. This film is two people in a remote area facing some real terror, and at 80 minutes, it doesn't drag on, or over stay its welcome.
Alexie Gilmore and Bryce Johnson play a couple who are on a mission to find Bigfoot (he believes in the creature, she is along for the ride). They have a great chemistry together, and they make you care about what happens to them, which is what makes it so scary. It is mostly quiet, and completely captivating. I don't know when Goldthwait started becoming one of my favorite film makers, but this is the third film of his I have seen, and have completely fallen in love with. And they are all wildly different films! He has taken my least favorite medium of cinema, "found footage", and made what has to be the best film to come out of it.
Grade: A-
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Alexie Gilmore, Bryce Johnson
Director: Bobcat Goldthwait
Writer(s): Bobcat Goldthwait
RT: 80 min
Rating: R
I don't normally review TV or DTV movies, because they are always pretty terrible, and don't attract the caliber of talent or budget that theatrical releases do. "Sharknado" is just too big a phenomenon to not talk about! I realize that it is trying a little too hard to capitalize on a craze of bad cult films, and that The Asylum is responsible for some of the worst rip-offs in cinema history. I get that I shouldn't love this movie (or its predecessor), and that it is no better than some of the films I have panned over the last couple of years. The problem is, I do. I love this movie. "Sharknado 2" is horrible in some of the worst ways, and some of the best ways all at once. The actors seem to be having a great time putting in some truly terrible performances. Ian Ziering, especially, is relishing in some of the cornball lines he gets to utter while trying to chainsaw sharks in half, or lob homemade bombs into funnels filled with ferocious fish. The story is completely asinine, but no more so than a crew of aliens trying to stop a sinister villain from getting his hands on a stone that makes him all-powerful. It just so happens that the dialogue isn't as punchy, and the special effects aren't as polished... or polished at all. Hell, 15 years ago, James Gunn (director of "Guardians of the Galaxy") was directing films of this exact caliber. So, here is to Anthony C. Ferrante (director) and Thunder Levin (Seriously, this is the writers name.)! I have high hopes that Marvel gives you both a shot at a massive property soon. Grade: B- 3D: I wish! Easter Egg: Yes
Starring: Ian Ziering, Tar Reid, Vivica A. Fox Director: Anthony C. Ferrante Writer(s): Thunder Levin RT: 90min Rating: TV-14
Heroes in a half shell, writing that was half-assed
*Possible Spoilers*
Let us forget the changes to the origin. Let us forget how awful the character designs of the Turtles, Splinter, and Shredder are. Let us even forget that there is a phenomenal new show on Nickelodeon right now, that is everything that this movie is not. None of this is relevant to anything that this is wrong with this movie. It doesn't help, but they shouldn't carry any weight. This movie is mess all on its own without such great source material. There are moments in this film that could have been wildly entertaining, if put in the right hands (read: not Michael Bay's); however, they come so far after you have mentally checked out of the movie, that they hardly register. Fortunately, it wasn't the almost-three-hour run time that we got with "Transformers: Age of Extinction".
Johnathan Liebesman's camera doesn't stay still long enough to to be able watch any of the poorly paced action sequences, that are filled with so many groan inducing one-liners, it is hard to tell which of your senses should be more offended. Most of the actors put in paycheck performances that die on the screen. Especially the usually dependable William Fichtner as Eric Sacks, the evil business man who is responsible for the Turtles mutation, and is a pupil of the Shredder's, despite the fact you never see him practicing martial arts. Come to think of it, the ninja aspect is played down a lot in this movie. The three writers put together an incoherent story, with awkward tonal shifts, that leaves you with too many questions:
Why do none of the foot clan practice Martial Arts? They all carry guns. Why, if this mutagen makes such perfect beings, does Donatello need glasses? Why did April O'Neil's father burn down his lab with her inside? (I have a lot of questions about this whole situation) Why does Shredder need a mechanical suit, and why does it look like a Transformer?
If Shredder was supposed to be Sacks' adoptive father, why do look like they are the same age?
How does a rat teach itself Ninjitsu in the span of what seems to be less than a year?
What was the point of April's room mate when her boss (sadly played by Whoopi Goldberg) serves the exact same story function?
Grade: D
3D: Seriously, don't bother. Easter Egg: Nope.
Starring: Megan Fox, Will Arnett, Creepy CGI creatures Director: Jonathan Liebesman
Writer(s): Josh Applebaum & Andre Nemec, and Evan Daughtrey - Comic: Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman RT: 101 min
Rating: PG-13 for sci-fi action violence
Darren Aranofsky's Biblical Epic plays more like a grand fantasy film than it does a staunch, heavy-handed Bible movie. His actors are all cast well, especially Emma Watson, who steals nearly every scene, and his script (co-written by Ari Handel) is suspenseful and exciting. This is a solid big-budget film by a solid indie director. #102: The Grand Budapest Hotel *Must-See (7) #103: Iron Man 3 (2013) - B. *Rewatch
Despite the mistreatment of the Mandarin, the annoying kid, and too much Happy Hogan, this is a really fun film. It definitely has the most thrilling Marvel Studios third act action scene outside of "The Avengers". Robert Downey Jr. also seems to have reached his peak of playing Tony Stark, because he never feels out of place or off beat. #104: Thor: The Dark World (2013) *Rewatch #105 & 106: Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) *Must-See (2) #107: Draft Day #108: The Last Days On Mars (2013)
A by-the-numbers sci-fi horror film that follows in the foot steps of films like "Alien" and "Event Horizon". Director Ruairi Robinson even copies shots from these films. It has a reasonably short running time that keeps it from becoming aimless, but the thrills and scares are never present. Grade: C #109: Hide Your Smiling Faces (2013)
There are times when Daniel Patrick Carbone's film feels a bit like a Terrence Malick piece, and other times when it feels unlike anything else. The result is a haunting depiction of two brothers, from a small rural town, who are forced to deal with the death of a friend. Grade: B- #110: G.B.F. (2013)
I would like to commend this film on creating a gay character that wasn't a complete stereotype, and having a pretty decent premise. I would not like to commend on not only stealing so much from every other high school movie, and copping to it more than once in the dialogue. It becomes a mixed bag of good and bad ideas, and they rotate from one second to the next. A few decent performances, and couple of belly laughs make it passable. Barely. Grade: C #111: The Unknown Known (2013)
This portrait of former Secretary of State, Donald Rumsfeld, is deeply engrossing, and somewhat disturbing. It was hard to not be taken by Errol Morris' use of footage, and slightly manipulative editing, to tell the story of a man who constantly finds himself next to the highest seat of power in the US. Rumsfeld is cool and collected, and calculates every answer with a sly grin, and a hearty chuckle. Even if you don't agree with him in the end, you at least come away with a modicum of respect for him. Grade: A #112: Alan Partridge (2013)
Steve Coogan is perhaps one of the funniest people making movies today, and he somehow is not a household name in America. While the premise of this film takes a lot from the mid-nineties comedy "Airheads", it still manages to feel original and amusing. Grade: B+ #113: Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) *Rewatch #114: Brick Mansions (2014)
Put an eye patch on Paul Walker's character, and, suddenly, you have "Escape From Detroit". Camille Delamarre's remake of "District 13" is pure escapist fun, which makes no apologies for the lack of plot and character development. The acting is stale, the story is silly, but the action is thrilling, and there is plenty of it. Luc Besson's social commentary isn't too far off either. Grade: C+
Grade: C- #118: Rock and Roll High School (1979) *Rewatch
There are few films in this world that walk the line between absurd humor and flat-out insanity the way Alan Arkush's 1979 cult classic does. Grade: A #119: Star Wars (1977) *Rewatch
Though it has its kinks, this is the beginning of the greatest film franchise in the world. I know that sounds a little biased (because it super is!), but George Lucas created lightning in a bottle when he started this trilogy, and captured the imagination of every young Grade: A+ #120: Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1977) *Rewatch
This was a really funny update of David Mamet's sex comedy, "Sexual Perversity in Chicago". It also made me realize why I didn't enjoy Kevin Hart in "Ride Along". He was put on a PG-13 leash, and was in every scene of the movie. In this he is as wild as his stand-up, and only in roughly half of the movie. The script has some pacing issues, and some B-stories are a little rough. This is a very worthy film. Grade: B #77: Winter's Tale (2014)
Akiva Goldsman, the guy who wrote "Batman & Robin", wrote and directed what I can only call the corniest film of the year. The goofy, muddled mythology in this movie make most of the story hard to digest. Not to mention, there are two sections of the film, past and present, and the character development in both are so rushed, and so forced, that by the time you get to the "emotional" ending, you can't understand why you should care. Some good performances though. Grade: D #78: Only Lovers Left Alive (2014) #79: Camp Takota (2014)
A shaky first act, and a predictable third, bookend what is a charming second act with a lot of good laughs. Chris and Nick Riedell give this movie plenty of heart and a fun cast. All in all this a well meaning film that gets lost in trying to create enough drama to make it more interesting than it already is. And it is already plenty interesting. Grade: B- #80: The Lego Movie (2014) While this won't break my record for the most times I have seen one movie in theatres ("The Dark Knight" stands at 7), I may have a problem. Grade: A #81: Knights of Badassdom (2013)
There are moments in this comedy-fantasy that show how great it truly could have been. It is a lot of fun, and it never stops being at least interesting, but it never hits that next level. Peter Dinklage manages to keep it from floundering by having so much fun as his LARP obsessed character, that his joy is contagious. Grade: B- #82: 3 Days to Kill (2014)
If left in the hands of a more competent director, this could have been a really special film. The plot was intriguing, the script was amusing from time to time, and Hailee Steinfeld was very entertaining. Kevin Costner's character never really found his groove, fluttering back and forth from stoic badass to goofy badass at the drop of a hat. The action pieces weren't very well done either. Grade: C+ #83: Pompeii (2014) #84: Adult World (2013)
If you want a mild dramedy that sets some of its action in a mom and pop porn shop to make itself seem edgy, then you have found your movie. Emma Roberts plays a young, uptight poet who is having trouble getting published, and is cut off by her parents, forced to get a job at said porn shop, and begins tutelage under a burn out played by John Cusack. Despite some good performances, this film's script is a little cloying, and most of the story is forced so it can seem edgy (a thought that bears repeating). Grade: C #85: Brightest Star (2013)
Maggie Kiley has made such an emotionless, and awkward romantic dramedy, with "Brightest Star". Her script (co-written with Matthew Mullen) is poor, and filled with unlikable characters, including the film's lead, named "The Boy", played by Chris Lowell. The acting is all forgettable, and so just about everything else. Meh. Grade: D #86: McCanick (2013)
I liked this movie. Don't ask me why, but I did. Josh C. Waller's direction more than made up for some of Daniel Noah's scripting issues, like the awkward twist that didn't feel quite earned. David Morse plays an aging detective trying to track down a collar who was just released from prison after 7 years. Morse has always put in great performances, but he out does himself Eugene McCanick, with all of his grit and tenacity. Cory Monteith, in his final role, shows so much promise in this film. The kind of promise that I have seen from him, and wish I could see again. Grade: B #87: Someone Marry Barry (2014)
Sometimes a writer can focus so hard on making a character so annoying, that shoot too far past it, and drag the entire film down. In Rob Pearlstein's feature debut, he manages to do this with two characters. Barry places all of its comedic eggs in one basket, Tyler Labine playing an overtly annoying friend who ruins the lives of everyone around him, and it does not pay off. By the time we meet his soul mate (Lucy Punch), we have a hard time believing that anybody would still be friends with him, and that they care enough to try to get him married off. #88: Stitch (2014)
With a bigger budget, a better cast, and a few script punch-ups, this could have been a really good film. As it stands, Ajai's feature debut is bold, and could have used have a lot of work, but it suffers from its singular vision. Ajai explores some interesting concepts that don't really manifest until later in the movie, but are lost in the film's poor execution. Grade: D+ #89: Jamsey Boy (2014)
A little melodramatic, and a really sentimental look at real life criminal, James Burns. The script is weak, the acting is ok, and Ving Rhames is certainly not in it enough. When the credits started rolling, I almost completely forgot everything that happened in it. And Spencer Lefranco, the kid playing James, looked a little too much like Macklemore. I couldn't pay attention to much else. Grade: C- #90: The Bag Man (2014)
David Grovic's directorial debut is not a complete disaster, but it is wildly flawed. The dialogue is clunky, the story is a little dumb, and the acting is definitely far from top notch. This doesn't completely distract from the fact that is fun (at times), and John Cusack does seem to be enjoying himself (at times). All in all, it could have been much worse. Grade: C #91: One Chance (2013)
I am a real sucker for sappy biopics about losers who make something of their longshot status. It also helps when the lead is as lovable as James Corden. His adorable face, and believably innocent disposition, make his performance as real-life Paul Potts (winner of the first Britain's Got Talent) a complete joy to watch. The writing is a bit cliche, and becomes a little too sappy at times, but it is a great story, so you forgive most of its short-comings. Grade: B #92: Non-Stop (2014)
This is exactly the film I thought it was going to be. I don't know what else to say about it. The acting was passable, the script was interesting enough, and Jaume Collet-Serra's directing tried a little too hard in moments. It is a mild film with a moral that gets lost in the action. It is easy to enjoy, if you just let it be enjoyable. Grade: C+ #94: Veronica Mars (2014) #95: Holy Ghost People (2014)
Bad acting, silly dialogue, and a plot that falls apart within minutes of the film kicking off, make this film simply unbearable to watch. It tries so hard to be a scathing look at religious cults, but quickly dissolves into a bland, eventless thriller. The saddest part is that it took four people to write a film this bad. This should have saved for a bad movie night... Grade: D- #96: Sightseers (2012)
After falling in love with "A Field in England", I decided I need to watch more Ben Wheatley, and I happened upon this unrecognized gem. He focuses on a couple going through the British countryside in a camper, murdering people for petty annoyances, and it is disturbing, and darkly hysterical. I mostly love everything about it. Grade: A #97: Date and Switch (2014)
I believe every teen sex comedy that has been released since 1999 has been a sad attempt to recreate the magic that was "American Pie". This was one of the most unfortunate attempts I have seen to date. Same sex pact, but after it is made, one of the friends comes out of the closet. The awkward result is not funny, and at times, it is even offensive in the ways it was not trying to be offensive. #98: Better Living Through Chemistry (2014)
Not even the great Sam Rockwell could save this movie from being a whiny mid-life crisis flick with nothing to offer. #99: Tiny Furniture (2010)
#100: The Patchwork Girl of Oz (1914)
Imaginative, fun, and thoroughly entertaining. The first film from L. Frank Baum's Oz Film Manufacturing Company is heavy on amusing slapstick comedy and marvelous special effects (by 1914 standards), which makes it a serious joy to watch. This version I found was missing many frames, but it was still a lot of fun if you enjoy silent films. Grade: B
So, last month Michael Bay gave us the fourth, and worst, installment of the "Transformers" series. It was nice to see the worst that Science-Fiction/Action-Adventure had to offer, because I'm pretty sure, James Gunn has made the very best of the (sub)genre. He has absolutely made the best film of the summer. Gunn, who both directed and co-wrote "Guardians" (with Nicole Perlman), seems to get the Marvel formula perfectly, and runs with it in bold and unexpected ways. This movie is funny and exciting in equal measures, and contains the most complex characters of the current Marvel Cinematic Universe. It also manages to use the flurry of special effects to great advantage; creating a spectacular new side to the string of Marvel films that have been released so far.
Chris Pratt has found his star-making role in Peter Quill (A.K.A. Starlord), an intergalactic thief who was taken from Earth as young boy, and raised among the stars. His fluid performance is consistently charming, and at times very moving. Dave Bautista is excellent as the literal-minded Drax the Destroyer, and Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel lend their voices to Rocket Raccoon and Groot with great emotion and much humor. You would also be surprised at how much inflection Diesel can put into just a single reading of the line, "I am Groot." Zoe Saldana rounds out the title characters with the fiercest performance of her career (which is saying something). She is an ultimate badass as Gamora, one of Thanos' assassin daughters, and if she wasn't already the go to lethal female in Hollywood, she would be after this. I would be remiss if I didn't mention the excellence of Lee Pace and Karen Gillan as the film's villains. I need to stop now, because this short review keeps getting longer. This is honestly everything that film making should be: Fun, exuberant, escapist, and heartfelt. This may be the perfect movie.
Grade: A
3D: It was ok.
Easter Egg: Yes! The best since Shawarma.
Starring: Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Karen Gillan
Director: James Gunn
Writer(s): James Gunn and Nicole Perlman - Comic: Dan Abnett and Andy Landing
RT: 121min
Rating: PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, and for some language
