Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)

Naked Ambitions

I want to start by saying that the problems I had with "Fifty Shades of Grey" do not lie within the subject matter. I am not offended by the concept of BDSM. Whatever two consenting adults do in their free time is their concern. In fact, the far superior 2002 film, "Secretary", handled this subject in an absolutely fascinating way. No, the problems stem from the monotonous script, and its horrifically wooden dialogue that emotionlessly drops from the mouths of the actors. The repetitious nature of most of it could have been used as punishment in a later scene of the film.

The two leads are bland, and hold no similarities to actual people. Aside from their sexual habits, I can't point to one quality in either of them that is remotely interesting. He's rich and knows how to fly a helicopter? She likes books? Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) displays controlling and stalkerish tendencies early on, the kind that are treated as childish and dangerous in last month's Jennifer Lopez stinker, "The Boy Next Door", which doesn't endear you to him,. Though after entering into the relationship with Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson), the controlling aspect at least makes some sense.

Steele is a self-proclaimed romantic, with no personality, who spends the entire film just trying to hash out her feelings about Grey's lifestyle. There is almost not a single line from her character that doesn't pertain to Grey. She's a college student who is only seen doing college things twice in the movie, and one involves graduating. We are forced to believe she is intelligent, but she makes one terrible decision after another. Like the terrible decision I made by sitting through this entire movie. At least it was shot well.

Grade: D
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: I left before the credits ended.

Starring: Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Jennifer Ehle
Director: Sam Taylor-Johnson
Writer(s): Kelly Marcel - Novel: E.L. James
RT: 125 min
Rating: R for strong sexual content including dialogue, some unusual behavior and graphic nudity, and for language

Two Sentences:

Song One (2014): Anne Hathaway plays woman comes home from charity work abroad to be with her mother after her brother is hit by a car, and wind up in a relationship with his favorite artist. This is a well acted, well written indie, that packs a lot of heart and emotion into its short run time.

Grade: B+