2016 in Film

January 8th
Anesthesia -
The Forest - F
Lamb -
The Masked Saint -
The Treasure -
Wazir -
Yosemite -

January 15th
13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi - C+
Band of Robbers -
The Benefactor -
Moonwalkers - D
Norm of the North -
A Perfect Day -
Ride Along 2 - D-

January 22nd
The 5th Wave -
Aferim! -
The Boy -
Dirty Grandpa -
Exposed -
Ip Man 3 -
Mojave -
Monster Hunt -
Synchronicity -

January 29th
Fifty Shades of Black - F
The Finest Hours - A-
Jane Got a Gun -
Kung Fu Panda 3 -

February 5th
The Choice -
Einstein in Guanajuato -
Hail, Caeser! - B
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies -
Regression -
Southbound -
Tumbledown -

February 12th
Deadpool - B+
Fitoor -
How to Be Single -
Of Mind and Music -
Providence -
Touched With Fire -
Where to Invade Next -
Zoolander 2 -

February 19th
Busco novio para mi mujer -
Embrace of the Serpent -
Neerja -
Race - C
Risen -
Rolling Papers -
The Witch - A+

February 26th
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny -
Eddie the Eagle -
Gods of Egypt -
The Last Man on the Moon -
Tere Bin Laden Dead or Alive -
Triple 9 -

March 4th
Desierto -
Emelie -
London Has Fallen -
Knight of Cups -
The Other Side of the Door -
The Wave -
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot -
Zootopia -

March 11th
10 Cloverfield Ln -
Backgammon -
The Brothers Grimsby -
City of Gold -
Creative Control -
Eye in the Sky -
Hello, My Name is Doris -
Hyena Road -
Lolo -
Marguerite -
The Perfect Match -
River of Grass -
The Young Messiah -

March 18th
Allegiant -
The Bronze -
Krisha -
Midnight Special -
Miracles From Heaven -
My Golden Days -
The Program -

March 25th
Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice - B-
Born to Be Blue -
I Saw the Light -
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 -
They're Watching -

April 1st
The Dark Horse -
Everybody Wants Some -
God's Not Dead 2 -
Kill Your Friends -
Meet the Blacks -
Miles Ahead -
Natural Born Pranksters -
Standing Tall -

April 8th
Before I Wake -
The Boss -
Demolition -
Hardcore Henry -
Louder Than Bombs -
Wedding Doll -

April 15th
Barbershop: The Next Cut -
Colonia -
Criminal -
Fan -
Green Room -
The Jungle Book -
Our Last Tango -
Rio, I Love You -
Sing Street -

April 22nd
Compadres -
Elvis & Nixon -
A Hologram for the King -
The Huntsman: Winter's War -
The Meddler -
Sworn Virgin -
Tale of Tales -

April 29th
A Beautiful Planet -
Keanu -
The Man Who Knew Infinity -
Mother's Day -
Ratchet & Clank -
Viva -

American Ultra (2015)

Often we are given films that try to blur the lines of traditional genres, which, to be fair, is not an easy thing to do. Very few films have ever truly had success with this, that weren't just spoofs of the genres, or specific films. "American Ultra" is the latest movie to attempt this. Writer Max Landis ("Chronicle") strives to mix stoner comedy with hyper-violent action flick, and director Nima Nourizadeh ("Project X") never fully achieves this balance.

The first twenty minutes, before the gun fights and explosions, never quite elicits laughs. Instead, we are treated to weighty exposition about the relationship of our two protagonists: Mike (played by Jesse Eisenberg), a burnout stoner who works at a convenience store in West Virginia, and Phoebe, his inexplicably dedicated girlfriend of five years (Kristen Stewart). Mike is unable to leave his sleepy little town, because he gets panic attacks every time he tries, and the film opens with him ruining a trip to Hawaii, in which he was going to propose. This leads to a lot of apologizing, and a metaphor about a car crashing into a tree that makes Mike ponder if his roots are holding his love back.

We then learn he is a CIA experiment gone wrong, and is now going to be disposed of by a middle-manager, for some silly reason involving his promotion, played by Topher Grace. His only hope for survival is to be "activated" by his personal Dr. Frankenstein (Connie Britton), which sets him off into a violent spiral of self-preservation in the face of trained super-soldiers like himself. The action sequences that spawn from this are often clumsily edited, and shy away from serious gore or bone-crunching hits that robs it of being the Tarantino-esque action film hiding in the script.

Despite its failings at finding a genre, and its awkward tonal shifts, there are a lot of things that work in this film. Eisenberg and Stewart are vibrant and likable, and boast an impressive amount of chemistry with each other. Their shared screen time keeps you somewhat invested in the story, and makes you root for them to succeed, both in survival and love. Topher Grace is excellent as the sniveling one-note CIA villain, who is given a great couple of one-liners, and Walton Goggins, as Grace's lapdog assassin, is wonderfully madcap. Much of the stylized cinematography, from "Zombieland" DP, Michael Bonvillain, is very pleasing to look at.

I feel that in the hands of a more capable director, this could have been something special. As it stands, it is just a little more than okay.

Grade: C+
Easter Egg: No
3D: N/A

Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart, Topher Grace
Director: Nima Nourizadeh
Writer: Max Landis
RT: 95 min
Rating: Rated R for strong bloody violence, language throughout, drug use and some sexual content

Two Sentences:

Big Game: Not as off the wall as I was hoping, but it was still a lot of madcap fun. The plot is mostly sparse, and the characters aren't very deep, but the silliness of the action keeps it driving to the end.

Grade: B-

Cop Car: Jon Watts has made one of the most dark and entertaining films of the year. Kevin Bacon is on top of his game, while his foils (two young boys played by Hays Wellford and James Freedson-Jackson) are a complete joy to watch.

Grade: A

Episode 00 - Crying UNCLE

http://manofconstanthatred.podbean.com/e/00-crying-uncle/

Have you ever wondered what I think about Pete's Dragon, The Land Before Time sequels, and the Masters of the Universe cartoon? Tune in to my new podcast! Also, my thoughts on "The Man From UNCLE".

Fantastic Four (2015)

Flame Off

I feel like this movie is going to take entirely more flack than it deserves. Yes. It is a mess. Yes. It does feel like two different movies that were thrown together at the last minute. Yes. The writing is bad, and the story amounts to big heap of nothing. That being said, there are far worse films that have been released in this genre (cough. cough. "The Amazing Spider-Man 2") that have set it back far worse than this movie will. If anything, Fox's reboot of "Fantastic Four" just (sort of) exists. "Fantastic Four" is roughly half of a movie. It is too short, and ends before any actual plot, or character development, has a chance to unfurl. It is a film stuck in neutral, trying to eek out an existence from what producers assume people want from comic book movies.

The excellent cast is wasted with characters who are all too singular in purpose, and lack any real depth, or emotion. It is hard to say that any of them gave a decent performance, because their characters look bored and mopey throughout the entirety of the run time. The action sequences were bland to the point of nearly putting the audience too sleep, and the film is so murky looking that you can't even find joy in the visual quality. There were a few giggles in the first thirty minutes or so, but you hit a transportation device building montage, and the whole project begins to sink.

About an hour into the movie they reach "Planet Zero", an alternate dimension... or planet... or something, and it goes from a somewhat intriguing idea to capture the adventurous nature of Jules Verne to... 80's style David Cronenberg? Except, like "The Fly", or "Videodrome", it lacks any substance, or social commentary. Then it just devolves into another convoluted plot about an evil Military Industrial Complex trying to use the team to fight foreign enemies. What we really have here is the downside of movies being made by committee. Everybody wants a slice of what Marvel has, and fanboys are clamoring for it, but nobody else has cracked the code quite yet. I guess we'll see what DC has to offer soon enough.

It was hard to watch this movie. It is hard to see one of the greatest group dynamics in comics get mistreated time and again on screen. This makes four bad movies based on one comic book property. This one, however, lacks the fun of the 2005 film, and the ambition of the 1994 original. That's right. This film had less ambition than the never-released catastrophe made the king-of-schlock, Roger Corman. We're talking about the man who made a film in less than two days. ON A DARE. Congrats Fox, that is the guy you had to do better than, and you failed. Miserably.

AND WHY WAS KATE MARA'S RESHOOT WIG SO INEXPLICABLY AWFUL?!

Grade: D
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: I left before the credits ended.

Starring: Miles Teller, Kate Mara, Michael B. Jordan
Director: Josh Trank (Sort of)
Writer(s): Simon Kinberg & Jeremy Slater and Josh Trank
RT: 100 min
Rating: PG-13 for sci-fi action violence, and language

Cinderella (2015)

To be completely honest, there is nothing stunningly wrong with Disney's newest adaptation of the Grimm's Fairy Tale, "Cinderella". It is beautifully shot, and the costumes and sets are marvelous. Cate Blanchett is absolutely wonderful as the Stepmother, and "Downton Abbey's" Lily James is easy to fall in love with as the title character. It just falls flat in so many places that it fails to capture the magic of the 1950 animated classic. Though Chris Weitz's manages to fill in some of the plot holes in the story, it flushes some of the characters (mostly the step sisters) out in dreadful and unfunny ways. The entire subplot with the always fantastic Stellan Skarsgard feels silly and forced, and drags the film down in many scenes. All in all, it does little to add to the mythology, but it is an easily digestible piece of cinema.

Grade: B-
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No

Starring: Cate Blanchett, Lily James, Richard Madden
Director: Kenneth Branagh
Writer(s): Chris Weitz
RT: 105 min
Rating: PG for mild thematic elements

The Last Five Years (2015)

Small, intimate, and beautiful are the words I could best use to describe Robert Lagranvenese's adaptation of Jason Robert Brown's stage musical. Sure, it hits a few narrative problems near the end, but the heartfelt music, and the power house performances from the film's leads, Anna Kendrick and Jeremy Jordan, almost make those snags seem completely insignificant. Watching these two characters move counter-sequentially (I may have made up a new word!) through the ups and downs of their relationship is utterly fascinating. Steven Meizler's camera floats around them, giving the film a captivating fly on wall feel that you don't normally get with movie musicals. The highest praise I feel anyone could can give to a film is the desire to want to watch again the moment it was over. And even if I didn't want to, which I did, I could at least listen to Anna Kendrick break my heart with "Still Hurting" for hours.

Grade: A-
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No

Starring: Anna Kendrick, Jeremy Jordan
Director: Robert Lagranvenese
Writer(s): Robert Lagranvenese - Book and Lyric: Jason Robert Brown
RT: 94 min
Rating: PG-13 for sexual material, brief strong language and a drug image

Two Sentences:

What We Do in the Shadows (2014): This New Zealand made mockumentary about a group of centuries old vampires living in a flat together boasts a slew of hysterical performances, and an unbelievably strong script. The humour is fresh, the timing is perfect, and characters are a ton of fun to get to know through all of minor trials and tribulations that vampires must put up with in the modern world.

Grade: A

'71 (2014)

A British soldier gets left behind enemy lines in Belfast, Ireland, and ends up running from the IRA. Jack O'Connell follows up a grand performance in "Unbroken" with a captivating portrayal of a young man on the run for his life. Director Yann Demange, on his first feature film, manages to build proper tension in multiple chase scene, and isn't shy about showing the brutal impact of senseless violence. The script, by Gregory Burke (also his first feature), is sparse and visceral; leaving dialogue to a minimum to focus on a cerebral chase through the streets of Ireland. This is not a film to miss.

Grade: A
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No

Starring: Jack O'Connell, Sam Reid, Sean Harris
Director: Yann Demange
Writer(s): Gregory Burke
RT: 99 min
Rating: R for strong violence, disturbing images, and language throughout

Two Sentences:

Against the Sun (2015): A Navy pilot, his bombardier, and his radioman get lost in the Pacific, and end up battling the elements in order to survive. The three men (Garret Dillahunt, Tom Felton, and Jake Abel) play their parts especially well, and despite a horrendous score (at one point sharks appear and some riff on the Jaws theme plays), this is a beautiful, uplifting film that tugs at the heart strings in certain scenes.

Grade: B