 |
| Ghost. Busted. |
Grade: F
Easter Egg: ?
3D: N/A
Starring: Marlon Wayans, Essence Atkins, Marlene Forte
Director: Michael Tiddes
Writer(s): Marlon Wayans & Rick Alvarez
RT: 86 min
Rating: R for crude and sexual content, language and some drug use
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
A Haunted House (2013)
Grade: F
Easter Egg: ?
3D: N/A
Starring: Marlon Wayans, Essence Atkins, Marlene Forte
Director: Michael Tiddes
Writer(s): Marlon Wayans & Rick Alvarez
RT: 86 min
Rating: R for crude and sexual content, language and some drug use
A Dark Truth (2013)
 |
| Water Bored |
Grade: D+
Easter Egg: No
3D: N/A
Starring: Andy Garcia, Forest Whitaker, Eva Longoria
Director: Damian Lee
Writer(s): Damian Lee
RT: 106 min
Rating: R for violence and disturbing images
Thursday, January 17, 2013
2012: My 20 Most Hated Films
Why? Why do I, year in and year out, continue to imbibe in horrifically bad films? I guess my addiction, and my love for movies, means I have to endure the bad to enjoy the greatness of films such as "Lincoln" or "Hugo". This year brought some real turds, and I'll be damned if I didn't sit through every minute of them. Please do keep in mind that I didn't see every film this year. "Twilight 27" was not even an option for me to see, and there are some others I just didn't get to. So if you thought it was crap, and I didn't list it please let me know what it was, and why you hated it.
20. Underworld: Awakening (26%)
I was shocked to see this movie happened. They keep releasing sequels in this series, and they only seem to keep getting worse. Please, Kate Beckinsale, I urge you to stop signing onto these movies, because I'm beginning to get worried about you. When you can't get your leading man back, and are forced to kill his CGI image in the first ten minutes of film, you should know to stop making the films. The rest of the movie doesn't get any better from there.
Most Embarassing Moment: The whole deal with Scott Speedman being digitally inserted.
19. Rock of Ages (41%)
I'm usually fine with adaptations if the keep the spirit of what they updating, and "Rock of Ages" took all of the fun and self-parody out of the stage play, and turned into a more serious, somewhat jokey, version of itself. What else can we expect from the director of the horrible film version of "Hairspray"? A screechy lead actress, a lack of chemistry of anyone on screen with anyone else, and "Don't Stop Believing" are just a few things that make this unbearable to watch. About the only thing that is watchable in this film is Paul Giamatti.
Most Embarassing Moment: The opening song fails to set the film up.
18. Dark Tide (0%)
This is one of those films in which a star has fallen so far from grace, they will do anything to try to get back on top. "Dark Tide" was Halle Berry's way of trying to remind people that she was once a hot commodity, by featuring her heavily in a bikini. It was as if she was saying, "Remember when showing my breasts in "Swordfish" was news worthy?" And the answer was, "If it wasn't for some expert underwater cinematography, no one would even care that this movies existed."
Most Embarassing Moment: Anything not shot above water.
17. This is 40 (51%)
Apatow is usually very spot on with the work he puts out. "40 Year-Old Virgin" and "Knocked Up" had a lot of heart, and "Bridesmaids", which he produced, was easily one of the best films of last year. This film, however, lacks any shred of happiness, or decency. There is a moment in the beginning of the film when the family is arguing over whether music should make people happy, or if it should make people feel something deeper. "This is 40" did neither.
Most Embarassing Moment:
16. The Three Stooges (52%)
How do you ruin "The Three Stooges?" It is three grown men hitting each other with blunt objects! It shouldn't be that hard to make it at least entertaining. It wasn't. Not even the least bit. The three leads were awful together, and trying to get from gag to gag was painful. With "There's Something About Mary" and "Kingpin", it seemed like the Farrelly Brothers were poised to be the reining kings of comedy for years to come. After this and "Hall Pass", I'm ready for them to never make another film again.
15. Silent Hill: Revalation (6%)
Sequels that don't need to happen happen all the time, and this one, for whatever stupid reason, happened. It took six years to get it out, but it happened. A rushed story and clunky dialogue were expected, and bad acting was bound to happen. What I didn't expect was Sean Bean just crapping all over the film, collecting his paycheck, and making me sad that I am a fan of his. I watched the Youtube compilation of him dying about twenty times just to be able to look at him in better films again.
14. The Lorax (55%)
This is the worst thing to happen to Dr. Suess since he died. "The Lorax" is one of his best books, and the moral center of it didn't need a bunch of bells and whistles to be that way. What Illumination Entertainment has done is try to make it more of a companion piece to its inexplicably popular film "Despicable Me" instead of creating a robust fantasy world that could stand on its own. The poorly written music and bad comedy that was put in it didn't help me like it any better.
Most Embarassing Moment: The Onceler's song about being greedy.
13. Dark Shadows (38%)
There isn't much that is redeeming about Tim Burton's adaptation of one of the most horrible shows in the history of British television. The writing is massively sub-par, and the acting is completely stale, except for Johnny Depp, who continues to play Jack Sparrow in every movie he is in (and it looks like he play him in "The Lone Ranger"). Burton continues to miss the mark with every new film he manages to crap out. This especially pains me, being a fan of his for as long as I can remember.
Most Embarassing Moment: A toss-up between Depp's unimaginative performance and Johnny Lee Miller's hair
12. 21 Jump Street (84%)
I'm confused at how this movie is gaining a lot of positive attention. Despite a fair performance by Channing Tatum, this film is the same style of goof off improv comedy that has been panned by critics left and right. It also follows in the vain of taking an old property and making it a parody of itself. Jonah Hill plays the same awkward idiot he always plays (Except in "Moneyball" and this year's "Django Unchained". Though he is looking a lot healthier these days), and the cast of character actors fumble through the plot. By the time the movie gets to cameo payoff near the end, all interest is lost.
Most Embarassing Moment: The two leads take the synthetic drug they are trying to stop, and hilarity does not ensue.
11. Playback (0%)
Toothless horror films are some of my favorite films. They tend to take themselves as serious as they possibly can, and never seem to become suspenseful at any point. "Playback" lacks any sufficient scares, and boasts a group of actors who seem as if they could care less if it does. I laughed more in this film than any other comedy on this list combined.
10. Nature Calls
Patton Oswalt has had a mostly solid career. Which makes me wonder if this was a passion project, or a favor to a friend, because there is nothing worth watching in this film. Johnny Knoxville and Rob Riggle (who is just an awful actor) scream their way through Todd Rohal's flat script. A script that is filled with a lot verbal abuse toward women and even more cussing at children. I guess that is supposed to be funny. Maura Tierney is too talented for this film, and Patrice O'Neal died before it came out. What a horrible film to be your last.
9. The Watch
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Aliens attack a sleepy suburban neighborhood, and so do a bunch of improvised semen jokes. This film was an absolute waste of any talent that crossed the screen. Especially the brilliant comic mind of Richard Ayoade (pictured above for people who haven't yet discovered "The IT Crowd"). The aliens looked kind of cool, but they were used in such a bad fashion that I almost wanted to give up being a sci-fi fanatic.
8. Beneath the Darkness
This may have been the funniest horror/suspense film of the year. Dennis Quaid plays a creepy guy living in an old house, doing weird shit, and a bunch of teenagers try to figure out what he is up to. It's like "Fright Night" minus the vampires, or anything interesting. I hope 2013 holds as bad of horror films as this mess, because I'm always in the mood for a good laugh.
7. Tyler Perry's Madea's Witness Protection
Tyler Perry tried his best, or at least I assumed he tried, to capitalize on the current economic crisis with a terribly unfunny comedy. Serving as writer, producer, director, three different roles, and probably script supervisor, best boy grip, and assistant gaffer as well, he does nothing from letting this film go down the toilet very fast. Bad performances stem from a script so horrendous it felt like a rushed, and obvious, cash grab. After his far better "Good Deeds" from early in the year, I was hoping not to see Madea on screen again. High hopes always lead to larger disappointments.
6. The Campaign
Will Ferrell. What can I say? He just continues to pile crap on top of crap. "Anchorman", "Blades of Glory", "Step Brothers", "Semi-Pro", and now this. He teams up with Zach Galifanakis (who also has some awful films to his credit) to produce of barrage of unfunny jokes and scenes connected together to make a preposterously bad film that drags down the likes of John Lithgow and some other note worthy actors who don't belong here.
5. Piranha 3DD
There is the fine line between making campy horror, and a really bad film. "Piranha 3D" was campy and fun, relishing in the fact that it was gleefully skipping into cult status. "Piranha 3DD" lacked any of the things that made its predecessor such a goofy film. Instead it was a rushed, stupid mess that focused so hard on blood and boobs that it forgot anything else, and just stole its plot mainly from Jaws 3 (the second worst Jaws). It was sad to watch this attempt to start a franchise that should never be.
4. Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie
I really don't know what I expected when I watched this movie, and I got an experience I wish I could wipe from my memory. This niche style of comedy does not appeal to me, and the fact that it will drag jokes on long after they stopped being funny is such a bore that I think I may fallen asleep at some point, just to wake up and realize that going back to rewatch what I missed was not worth it. Or I just repressed the memories of those moments because they were that horrifying.
3. The Devil Inside
I dislike the found footage genre. I have probably said this a thousand times, and this was the worst of the entire lot this year. Where "End of Watch" and "Chronicle" had things I truly liked about them, this piece of crap had nothing redeeming. The story was weak, the actors were laughable, and it had no ending (something that actually worked for "Killer Joe"). I felt like I needed an exorcism after this movie, just so I could get it out of my system.
2. That's My Boy
Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg released two movies together this year. One was the entertaining, but overall middling "Hotel Transylvania". The other was this wretched pile of Happy Madison nonsense. It had all of the immature staples of a bad Sandler film, a couple of cameos that could have been good, but lasted too long to be funny, and Nick Swardson playing another REALLY stupid character. I know this was an easy, and predictable pick to be this high, but it really was THAT bad.
1. The Comedy
The funniest about "The Comedy" is its horribly ironic title. This is the second entry on this list to feature "comedians" Tim & Eric, and for good reason. This one, however, was directed by Rick Alverson and written by some other people, who I honestly don't care to look up. I thought it couldn't get any worse than the other piece of crap they released earlier in the year, but it did. This film was so bad, I couldn't even finish it. That is an honor only placed amongst a handful of other films including "Catwoman" and "The Phantom of the Opera" with Gerard Butler. (P.S. I wrote the introduction before I tried to watch this.)
20. Underworld: Awakening (26%)
I was shocked to see this movie happened. They keep releasing sequels in this series, and they only seem to keep getting worse. Please, Kate Beckinsale, I urge you to stop signing onto these movies, because I'm beginning to get worried about you. When you can't get your leading man back, and are forced to kill his CGI image in the first ten minutes of film, you should know to stop making the films. The rest of the movie doesn't get any better from there.
Most Embarassing Moment: The whole deal with Scott Speedman being digitally inserted.
19. Rock of Ages (41%)
I'm usually fine with adaptations if the keep the spirit of what they updating, and "Rock of Ages" took all of the fun and self-parody out of the stage play, and turned into a more serious, somewhat jokey, version of itself. What else can we expect from the director of the horrible film version of "Hairspray"? A screechy lead actress, a lack of chemistry of anyone on screen with anyone else, and "Don't Stop Believing" are just a few things that make this unbearable to watch. About the only thing that is watchable in this film is Paul Giamatti.
Most Embarassing Moment: The opening song fails to set the film up.
18. Dark Tide (0%)
This is one of those films in which a star has fallen so far from grace, they will do anything to try to get back on top. "Dark Tide" was Halle Berry's way of trying to remind people that she was once a hot commodity, by featuring her heavily in a bikini. It was as if she was saying, "Remember when showing my breasts in "Swordfish" was news worthy?" And the answer was, "If it wasn't for some expert underwater cinematography, no one would even care that this movies existed."
Most Embarassing Moment: Anything not shot above water.
17. This is 40 (51%)
Apatow is usually very spot on with the work he puts out. "40 Year-Old Virgin" and "Knocked Up" had a lot of heart, and "Bridesmaids", which he produced, was easily one of the best films of last year. This film, however, lacks any shred of happiness, or decency. There is a moment in the beginning of the film when the family is arguing over whether music should make people happy, or if it should make people feel something deeper. "This is 40" did neither.
Most Embarassing Moment:
16. The Three Stooges (52%)
How do you ruin "The Three Stooges?" It is three grown men hitting each other with blunt objects! It shouldn't be that hard to make it at least entertaining. It wasn't. Not even the least bit. The three leads were awful together, and trying to get from gag to gag was painful. With "There's Something About Mary" and "Kingpin", it seemed like the Farrelly Brothers were poised to be the reining kings of comedy for years to come. After this and "Hall Pass", I'm ready for them to never make another film again.
15. Silent Hill: Revalation (6%)
Sequels that don't need to happen happen all the time, and this one, for whatever stupid reason, happened. It took six years to get it out, but it happened. A rushed story and clunky dialogue were expected, and bad acting was bound to happen. What I didn't expect was Sean Bean just crapping all over the film, collecting his paycheck, and making me sad that I am a fan of his. I watched the Youtube compilation of him dying about twenty times just to be able to look at him in better films again.
14. The Lorax (55%)
This is the worst thing to happen to Dr. Suess since he died. "The Lorax" is one of his best books, and the moral center of it didn't need a bunch of bells and whistles to be that way. What Illumination Entertainment has done is try to make it more of a companion piece to its inexplicably popular film "Despicable Me" instead of creating a robust fantasy world that could stand on its own. The poorly written music and bad comedy that was put in it didn't help me like it any better.
Most Embarassing Moment: The Onceler's song about being greedy.
13. Dark Shadows (38%)
There isn't much that is redeeming about Tim Burton's adaptation of one of the most horrible shows in the history of British television. The writing is massively sub-par, and the acting is completely stale, except for Johnny Depp, who continues to play Jack Sparrow in every movie he is in (and it looks like he play him in "The Lone Ranger"). Burton continues to miss the mark with every new film he manages to crap out. This especially pains me, being a fan of his for as long as I can remember.
Most Embarassing Moment: A toss-up between Depp's unimaginative performance and Johnny Lee Miller's hair
12. 21 Jump Street (84%)
Most Embarassing Moment: The two leads take the synthetic drug they are trying to stop, and hilarity does not ensue.
11. Playback (0%)
Toothless horror films are some of my favorite films. They tend to take themselves as serious as they possibly can, and never seem to become suspenseful at any point. "Playback" lacks any sufficient scares, and boasts a group of actors who seem as if they could care less if it does. I laughed more in this film than any other comedy on this list combined.
10. Nature Calls
Patton Oswalt has had a mostly solid career. Which makes me wonder if this was a passion project, or a favor to a friend, because there is nothing worth watching in this film. Johnny Knoxville and Rob Riggle (who is just an awful actor) scream their way through Todd Rohal's flat script. A script that is filled with a lot verbal abuse toward women and even more cussing at children. I guess that is supposed to be funny. Maura Tierney is too talented for this film, and Patrice O'Neal died before it came out. What a horrible film to be your last.
9. The Watch
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Aliens attack a sleepy suburban neighborhood, and so do a bunch of improvised semen jokes. This film was an absolute waste of any talent that crossed the screen. Especially the brilliant comic mind of Richard Ayoade (pictured above for people who haven't yet discovered "The IT Crowd"). The aliens looked kind of cool, but they were used in such a bad fashion that I almost wanted to give up being a sci-fi fanatic.
8. Beneath the Darkness
This may have been the funniest horror/suspense film of the year. Dennis Quaid plays a creepy guy living in an old house, doing weird shit, and a bunch of teenagers try to figure out what he is up to. It's like "Fright Night" minus the vampires, or anything interesting. I hope 2013 holds as bad of horror films as this mess, because I'm always in the mood for a good laugh.
7. Tyler Perry's Madea's Witness Protection
Tyler Perry tried his best, or at least I assumed he tried, to capitalize on the current economic crisis with a terribly unfunny comedy. Serving as writer, producer, director, three different roles, and probably script supervisor, best boy grip, and assistant gaffer as well, he does nothing from letting this film go down the toilet very fast. Bad performances stem from a script so horrendous it felt like a rushed, and obvious, cash grab. After his far better "Good Deeds" from early in the year, I was hoping not to see Madea on screen again. High hopes always lead to larger disappointments.
6. The Campaign
Will Ferrell. What can I say? He just continues to pile crap on top of crap. "Anchorman", "Blades of Glory", "Step Brothers", "Semi-Pro", and now this. He teams up with Zach Galifanakis (who also has some awful films to his credit) to produce of barrage of unfunny jokes and scenes connected together to make a preposterously bad film that drags down the likes of John Lithgow and some other note worthy actors who don't belong here.
5. Piranha 3DD
There is the fine line between making campy horror, and a really bad film. "Piranha 3D" was campy and fun, relishing in the fact that it was gleefully skipping into cult status. "Piranha 3DD" lacked any of the things that made its predecessor such a goofy film. Instead it was a rushed, stupid mess that focused so hard on blood and boobs that it forgot anything else, and just stole its plot mainly from Jaws 3 (the second worst Jaws). It was sad to watch this attempt to start a franchise that should never be.
4. Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie
I really don't know what I expected when I watched this movie, and I got an experience I wish I could wipe from my memory. This niche style of comedy does not appeal to me, and the fact that it will drag jokes on long after they stopped being funny is such a bore that I think I may fallen asleep at some point, just to wake up and realize that going back to rewatch what I missed was not worth it. Or I just repressed the memories of those moments because they were that horrifying.
3. The Devil Inside
I dislike the found footage genre. I have probably said this a thousand times, and this was the worst of the entire lot this year. Where "End of Watch" and "Chronicle" had things I truly liked about them, this piece of crap had nothing redeeming. The story was weak, the actors were laughable, and it had no ending (something that actually worked for "Killer Joe"). I felt like I needed an exorcism after this movie, just so I could get it out of my system.
2. That's My Boy
Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg released two movies together this year. One was the entertaining, but overall middling "Hotel Transylvania". The other was this wretched pile of Happy Madison nonsense. It had all of the immature staples of a bad Sandler film, a couple of cameos that could have been good, but lasted too long to be funny, and Nick Swardson playing another REALLY stupid character. I know this was an easy, and predictable pick to be this high, but it really was THAT bad.
1. The Comedy
The funniest about "The Comedy" is its horribly ironic title. This is the second entry on this list to feature "comedians" Tim & Eric, and for good reason. This one, however, was directed by Rick Alverson and written by some other people, who I honestly don't care to look up. I thought it couldn't get any worse than the other piece of crap they released earlier in the year, but it did. This film was so bad, I couldn't even finish it. That is an honor only placed amongst a handful of other films including "Catwoman" and "The Phantom of the Opera" with Gerard Butler. (P.S. I wrote the introduction before I tried to watch this.)
2013 in Film
Every year I keep a comprehensive list of the films that were released, and that I have seen, during the year. I used to do it free hand (if you don't believe me, I can show you), but 5 years ago, I started keeping them on my computer. This year I thought I would put it up on the blog in case anybody had any questions. I pull these straight off of the iMDB "coming soon" section and the Wikipedia "2013 in Film" page.
January 4th
A Dark Truth - D+
Texas Chainsaw - D
January 11th
The Baytown Outlaws - C-
Fairhaven - C+
Gangster Squad - B+
A Haunted House - F
Matru ki Bijlee ka Mandola -
Struck By Lightining - C
$ellebrity -
Storage 24 - C+
The Tower - A
January 18th
Broken City - D+
The Last Stand - D
Luv - D
Mama - C
Outside Satan -
January 25th
Hansel and Gretle: Witch Hunters - C+
Happy People: A Year in the Taiga - A
John Dies at the End - B-
Kinfe Fight - C-
Movie 43 - F
Noobz - C-
Parker - D
Race 2 -
Yossi -
February 1st
Bullet to the Head - C-
The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia - D
Koch -
Sound City - A
Stand Up Guys - A-
Warm Bodies - B+
February 8th
Identity Thief - D
Lore -
The Playroom - C-
Side Effects - A
Spiders - D-
February 14th/15th
Beautiful Creatures -
Escape From Planet Earth - C-
A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III - B-
A Good Day to Die Hard - C
Like Someone in Love -
The Package - D
The Power of Few -
Safe Haven - D+
February 22nd
Bless Me, Ultima -
Dark Skies - B
Inescapable -
Kai Po Che! -
Snitch - C
March 1st
The End of Love -
Hava Nagila: The Movie -
I, Me aur Main -
Jack the Giant Slayer -
The Last Exorcism Part II -
Leonie -
The Lost Medallion: the Adventures of Billy Stone - F
Phantom - D
A Place at the Table -
Stoker - D-
21 and Over - D-
The Unspeakable Act -
March 8th
The ABC's of Death - B
Beyond the Hills -
Dead Man Down - B-
Don't Stop Believin': Everyman's Journey - B
Emperor - B-
Oz the Great and Powerful - B+
The Silence -
March 15th
The Call -
From Up on Poppy Hill -
Ginger and Rosa -
The Incredible Burt Wonderstone - B+
K-11 -
The Kitchen - B
Mindless Behavior: All Around the World - B-
Reality -
Reincarnated - C
Upside Down - B-
March 22nd
Admission -
Come Out and Play - C
The Croods - B
Gimme the Loot - A-
The Happy Poet - B
Hunky Dory - C+
InAPPropriate Comedy - F
Love and Honor - C
Murph: the Protector -
My Brother the Devil - A-
No Place on Earth - A
Olympus Has Fallen - C
A Resurrection - F
The Sapphires - B
Spring Breakers - C-
March 29th
Blancanieves -
G.I. Joe: Retaliation - C+
The Host - D
Mental - B-
The Place Beyond the Pines - B+
Room 237 - A
Starbuck - A-
Tyler Perry's Temptation -
Welcome to the Punch - B
Wrong - B-
April 5th
6 Souls -
The Brass Teapot - B-
The Company You Keep -
Eddie: the Sleepwalking Cannibal -
Evil Dead - B+
Free Angela & All Political Prisoners -
Jurassic Park 3D - A
Simon Killer -
Trance - A-
Upstream Color -
April 12th
42 - B+
The Angels' Share -
Antiviral -
It's a Disaster - B
Disconnect - B
Into the White -
Not Today -
Scary MoVie - D-
To the Wonder -
April 19th
Filly Brown -
In the House -
The Lords of Salem -
Oblivion -
April 26th
Arthur Newman - D
At Any Price -
The Big Wedding -
Graceland - B-
Mud - A
Pain & Gain - F
The Reluctant Fundamentalist -
May 3rd
Cinco de Mayo, La Batalla -
Dead Man's Burden -
1st Night -
Generation Um...
Greetings form Tim Buckley -
The Iceman - B+
Iron Man 3 - B
Kiss of the Damned -
Love is All You Need -
Scatter My Ashes at Bergdorf's - D
Something in the Air -
What Maisie Knew -
May 10th
Aftershock - F
The Great Gatsby -
Java Heat -
No One Lives Here -
One Track Heart: the Story of Krisna Das -
Peeples -
Sightseers -
Venus and Serena - B
May 17th
Augustine -
Black Rock -
The English Teacher -
Erased - D
Frances Ha - A
Star Trek Into Darkness - A-
State 194 -
Stories We Tell -
May 24th
Before Midnight - A
Epic -
Fast & Furious 6 - C
Fill the Void -
The Hangover Part III - F
We Steal Secrets: the Story of Wikileaks - A
May 31st
After Earth - D
The East - C
Hannah Arendt -
The History of Future Folk - A-
The Kings of Summer - B
Now You See Me - C-
Shadow Dancer -
June 7th
Dirty Wars - B
Evocateur: the Morton Downey, Jr. Movie - A-
The Internship - D+
Much Ado About Nothing -
The Purge - C-
Syrup -
Violet & Daisy -
Wish You Were Here - C-
June 14th
Berberian Sound Studio - A-
Fukrey -
Man of Steel - B+
This is the End - B
20 Feet From Stardom - A
June 21st
The Bling Ring - C+
Downloaded -
A Highjacking -
Maniac - C
Monster's University - A-
Unfinished Song -
World War Z - D+
June 28th
Byzantium -
The Heat - D-
I'm So Excited -
Redemption - B+
White House Down - D-
July 5th
Big Star: Nothing Can Hurt Me - A-
Despicable Me 2 - D
Hammer of the Gods - C+
Just Like a Woman -
Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain - B
The Lone Ranger - D-
The Look of Love -
The Way Way Back - A
July 12th
Bhaag Milkha Bhaag -
Crystal Fairy - F
Dealin' With Idiots - B
The Deep -
Fruitvale Station - A+
Grown Ups 2 - D-
The Hot Flashes -
The Hunt -
Killing Season - C
Pacific Rim - B
Pawn Shop Chronicles -
Still Mine -
Terms and Condition May Apply -
V/H/S 2 - B
Viola -
July 19th
The Act of Killing - A
Big Words -
Blackfish - A
The Conjuring - B
D-Day -
Girl Most Likely -
Only God Forgives - C+
Red 2 -
RIPD - C+
Turbo - B-
July 26th
Blue Jasmine - B+
Breaking the Girls - F
Drug War -
The Time Being -
Tiny Times 1.0 -
The To Do List - B-
The Wolverine - B-
August 2nd
The Canyons -
Cockneys vs. Zombies - C+
Drift -
Europa Report - B
The Smurfs 2 - C-
The Spectacular Now -
2 Guns - C
August 9th
Chennai Express -
Elysium - A
I Give It a Year - D-
In A World... -
Lovelace - C
Off Label -
Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters - C
Planes -
Prince Avalanche - B
We're the Millers - D-
August 16th
Ain't Them Bodies Saints - A-
Austenland -
The Butler - B+
Cutie and the Boxer -
Jobs - C
Kick-Ass 2 - C-
Paranoia - D+
Standing Up - B-
August 23rd
Drinking Buddies - C-
The Frozen Ground - C+
The Grandmaster - A-
The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones - F
Savannah -
Scenic Route - B+
Short Term 12 - A+
The Worlds End - A
You're Next - A
August 30th
Closed Circuit - D
Getaway - D
I Declare War - A
Instructions Not Included -
The Lifeguard - C
One Direction: This is Us -
Random -
September 6th
Good Ol' Freda - B
Populaire -
Riddick - D
Salinger -
Suddh Desi Romance -
Touchy Feely - C-
The Ultimate Life -
September 13th
Blue Caprice - B+
The Family - B-
Grand Masti -
Herb and Dorothy 50X50 -
Informant - B+
Insidious: Chapter 2 - D+
Jayne Mansfield's Car -
Mademoiselle C -
Wadjda -
September 20th
Battle of the Year - D
C.O.G.- B
Enough Said - A
Prisoners - A-
A Single Shot -
Thanks For Sharing - B+
September 27th
Baggage Claim - D+
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2 - C+
Don Jon - B+
Inequality For All -
Muscle Shoals -
Rush - B
We Are What We Are - B+
October 4th
A.C.O.D. -
All is Bright - B+
Bad Milo - B
Besharam -
Concussion - C
Grace Unplugged -
Gravity - A+
Let the Fire Burn -
Linsanity -
Parkland - B
Pulling Strings -
Runner Runner - C-
The Summit -
October 11th
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane - B+
Captain Phillips - A
CBGB - C+
Escape From Tomorrow - B-
The Inevitable Defeat of Mister & Pete -
Machete Kills - C+
Romeo and Juliet -
October 18th
All is Lost - A
Birth of the Living Dead - A
Carrie - D
Escape Plan - C-
The Fifth Estate -
12 Years a Slave - A
October 25th
Bad Grandpa - C
Bastards -
Blue is the Warmest Color -
Capital -
The Counselor - B
Spinning Plates -
The Square - A
November 1st
About Time - A-
Big Sur - B-
The Broken Circle Breakdown - A-
Dallas Buyers Club - A-
Diana -
Ender's Game - B
Free Birds - C
Last Love - B-
Last Vegas - C+
Man of Tai Chi - B-
Mr. Nobody - A
November 8th
The Armstrong Lie -
Best Man Down - B-
The Book Thief - A-
Go For Sisters -
How I Live Now - C-
The Starving Games - F
Thor: the Dark World - A-
November 15th
12-12-12 -
Best Man Holiday - B-
Charlie Countryman - B-
Dear Mr. Watterson - A
Faust -
Nebraska - A
November 22nd
Delivery Man - B
Gori Tere Pyaar Mein -
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire - B+
Is the Man Who is Tall Happy? -
Philomena - A-
November 29th
Black Nativity - B-
Bullett Raja -
Frozen - B
Homefront -
Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom - C
Oldboy - B+
The Punk Singer - A
Reaching For the Moon -
December 6th
Inside Llewyn Davis - A
The Last Days on Mars - C
Out of the Furnace - B+
Swerve -
December 13th
Here Comes the Devil -
The Hobbit: the Desolation of Smaug - B+
Hours -
Liv & Ingmar -
Nuclear Nation -
Tyler Perry's A Madea Christmas -
December 20th
American Hustle - A
Anchorman 2: the Legend Continues - D
Dhoom: 3 -
Her - A-
The Past -
Saving Mr. Banks - B+
The Selfish Giant -
Walking With the Dinosaurs -
December 27th
47 Ronin - B-
August: Osage County - B+
Grudge Match - D+
The Invisible Woman -
Justin Beiber's Believe -
Lone Survivor - B+
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty - B
The Wolf of Wall Street - A-
January 4th
A Dark Truth - D+
Texas Chainsaw - D
January 11th
The Baytown Outlaws - C-
Fairhaven - C+
Gangster Squad - B+
A Haunted House - F
Matru ki Bijlee ka Mandola -
Struck By Lightining - C
$ellebrity -
Storage 24 - C+
The Tower - A
January 18th
Broken City - D+
The Last Stand - D
Luv - D
Mama - C
Outside Satan -
January 25th
Hansel and Gretle: Witch Hunters - C+
Happy People: A Year in the Taiga - A
John Dies at the End - B-
Kinfe Fight - C-
Movie 43 - F
Noobz - C-
Parker - D
Race 2 -
Yossi -
February 1st
Bullet to the Head - C-
The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia - D
Koch -
Sound City - A
Stand Up Guys - A-
Warm Bodies - B+
February 8th
Identity Thief - D
Lore -
The Playroom - C-
Side Effects - A
Spiders - D-
February 14th/15th
Beautiful Creatures -
Escape From Planet Earth - C-
A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III - B-
A Good Day to Die Hard - C
Like Someone in Love -
The Package - D
The Power of Few -
Safe Haven - D+
February 22nd
Bless Me, Ultima -
Dark Skies - B
Inescapable -
Kai Po Che! -
Snitch - C
March 1st
The End of Love -
Hava Nagila: The Movie -
I, Me aur Main -
Jack the Giant Slayer -
The Last Exorcism Part II -
Leonie -
The Lost Medallion: the Adventures of Billy Stone - F
Phantom - D
A Place at the Table -
Stoker - D-
21 and Over - D-
The Unspeakable Act -
March 8th
The ABC's of Death - B
Beyond the Hills -
Dead Man Down - B-
Don't Stop Believin': Everyman's Journey - B
Emperor - B-
Oz the Great and Powerful - B+
The Silence -
March 15th
The Call -
From Up on Poppy Hill -
Ginger and Rosa -
The Incredible Burt Wonderstone - B+
K-11 -
The Kitchen - B
Mindless Behavior: All Around the World - B-
Reality -
Reincarnated - C
Upside Down - B-
March 22nd
Admission -
Come Out and Play - C
The Croods - B
Gimme the Loot - A-
The Happy Poet - B
Hunky Dory - C+
InAPPropriate Comedy - F
Love and Honor - C
Murph: the Protector -
My Brother the Devil - A-
No Place on Earth - A
Olympus Has Fallen - C
A Resurrection - F
The Sapphires - B
Spring Breakers - C-
March 29th
Blancanieves -
G.I. Joe: Retaliation - C+
The Host - D
Mental - B-
The Place Beyond the Pines - B+
Room 237 - A
Starbuck - A-
Tyler Perry's Temptation -
Welcome to the Punch - B
Wrong - B-
April 5th
6 Souls -
The Brass Teapot - B-
The Company You Keep -
Eddie: the Sleepwalking Cannibal -
Evil Dead - B+
Free Angela & All Political Prisoners -
Jurassic Park 3D - A
Simon Killer -
Trance - A-
Upstream Color -
April 12th
42 - B+
The Angels' Share -
Antiviral -
It's a Disaster - B
Disconnect - B
Into the White -
Not Today -
Scary MoVie - D-
To the Wonder -
April 19th
Filly Brown -
In the House -
The Lords of Salem -
Oblivion -
April 26th
Arthur Newman - D
At Any Price -
The Big Wedding -
Graceland - B-
Mud - A
Pain & Gain - F
The Reluctant Fundamentalist -
May 3rd
Cinco de Mayo, La Batalla -
Dead Man's Burden -
1st Night -
Generation Um...
Greetings form Tim Buckley -
The Iceman - B+
Iron Man 3 - B
Kiss of the Damned -
Love is All You Need -
Scatter My Ashes at Bergdorf's - D
Something in the Air -
What Maisie Knew -
May 10th
Aftershock - F
The Great Gatsby -
Java Heat -
No One Lives Here -
One Track Heart: the Story of Krisna Das -
Peeples -
Sightseers -
Venus and Serena - B
May 17th
Augustine -
Black Rock -
The English Teacher -
Erased - D
Frances Ha - A
Star Trek Into Darkness - A-
State 194 -
Stories We Tell -
May 24th
Before Midnight - A
Epic -
Fast & Furious 6 - C
Fill the Void -
The Hangover Part III - F
We Steal Secrets: the Story of Wikileaks - A
May 31st
After Earth - D
The East - C
Hannah Arendt -
The History of Future Folk - A-
The Kings of Summer - B
Now You See Me - C-
Shadow Dancer -
June 7th
Dirty Wars - B
Evocateur: the Morton Downey, Jr. Movie - A-
The Internship - D+
Much Ado About Nothing -
The Purge - C-
Syrup -
Violet & Daisy -
Wish You Were Here - C-
June 14th
Berberian Sound Studio - A-
Fukrey -
Man of Steel - B+
This is the End - B
20 Feet From Stardom - A
June 21st
The Bling Ring - C+
Downloaded -
A Highjacking -
Maniac - C
Monster's University - A-
Unfinished Song -
World War Z - D+
June 28th
Byzantium -
The Heat - D-
I'm So Excited -
Redemption - B+
White House Down - D-
July 5th
Big Star: Nothing Can Hurt Me - A-
Despicable Me 2 - D
Hammer of the Gods - C+
Just Like a Woman -
Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain - B
The Lone Ranger - D-
The Look of Love -
The Way Way Back - A
July 12th
Bhaag Milkha Bhaag -
Crystal Fairy - F
Dealin' With Idiots - B
The Deep -
Fruitvale Station - A+
Grown Ups 2 - D-
The Hot Flashes -
The Hunt -
Killing Season - C
Pacific Rim - B
Pawn Shop Chronicles -
Still Mine -
Terms and Condition May Apply -
V/H/S 2 - B
Viola -
July 19th
The Act of Killing - A
Big Words -
Blackfish - A
The Conjuring - B
D-Day -
Girl Most Likely -
Only God Forgives - C+
Red 2 -
RIPD - C+
Turbo - B-
July 26th
Blue Jasmine - B+
Breaking the Girls - F
Drug War -
The Time Being -
Tiny Times 1.0 -
The To Do List - B-
The Wolverine - B-
August 2nd
The Canyons -
Cockneys vs. Zombies - C+
Drift -
Europa Report - B
The Smurfs 2 - C-
The Spectacular Now -
2 Guns - C
August 9th
Chennai Express -
Elysium - A
I Give It a Year - D-
In A World... -
Lovelace - C
Off Label -
Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters - C
Planes -
Prince Avalanche - B
We're the Millers - D-
August 16th
Ain't Them Bodies Saints - A-
Austenland -
The Butler - B+
Cutie and the Boxer -
Jobs - C
Kick-Ass 2 - C-
Paranoia - D+
Standing Up - B-
August 23rd
Drinking Buddies - C-
The Frozen Ground - C+
The Grandmaster - A-
The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones - F
Savannah -
Scenic Route - B+
Short Term 12 - A+
The Worlds End - A
You're Next - A
August 30th
Closed Circuit - D
Getaway - D
I Declare War - A
Instructions Not Included -
The Lifeguard - C
One Direction: This is Us -
Random -
September 6th
Good Ol' Freda - B
Populaire -
Riddick - D
Salinger -
Suddh Desi Romance -
Touchy Feely - C-
The Ultimate Life -
September 13th
Blue Caprice - B+
The Family - B-
Grand Masti -
Herb and Dorothy 50X50 -
Informant - B+
Insidious: Chapter 2 - D+
Jayne Mansfield's Car -
Mademoiselle C -
Wadjda -
September 20th
Battle of the Year - D
C.O.G.- B
Enough Said - A
Prisoners - A-
A Single Shot -
Thanks For Sharing - B+
September 27th
Baggage Claim - D+
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2 - C+
Don Jon - B+
Inequality For All -
Muscle Shoals -
Rush - B
We Are What We Are - B+
October 4th
A.C.O.D. -
All is Bright - B+
Bad Milo - B
Besharam -
Concussion - C
Grace Unplugged -
Gravity - A+
Let the Fire Burn -
Linsanity -
Parkland - B
Pulling Strings -
Runner Runner - C-
The Summit -
October 11th
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane - B+
Captain Phillips - A
CBGB - C+
Escape From Tomorrow - B-
The Inevitable Defeat of Mister & Pete -
Machete Kills - C+
Romeo and Juliet -
October 18th
All is Lost - A
Birth of the Living Dead - A
Carrie - D
Escape Plan - C-
The Fifth Estate -
12 Years a Slave - A
October 25th
Bad Grandpa - C
Bastards -
Blue is the Warmest Color -
Capital -
The Counselor - B
Spinning Plates -
The Square - A
November 1st
About Time - A-
Big Sur - B-
The Broken Circle Breakdown - A-
Dallas Buyers Club - A-
Diana -
Ender's Game - B
Free Birds - C
Last Love - B-
Last Vegas - C+
Man of Tai Chi - B-
Mr. Nobody - A
November 8th
The Armstrong Lie -
Best Man Down - B-
The Book Thief - A-
Go For Sisters -
How I Live Now - C-
The Starving Games - F
Thor: the Dark World - A-
November 15th
12-12-12 -
Best Man Holiday - B-
Charlie Countryman - B-
Dear Mr. Watterson - A
Faust -
Nebraska - A
November 22nd
Delivery Man - B
Gori Tere Pyaar Mein -
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire - B+
Is the Man Who is Tall Happy? -
Philomena - A-
November 29th
Black Nativity - B-
Bullett Raja -
Frozen - B
Homefront -
Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom - C
Oldboy - B+
The Punk Singer - A
Reaching For the Moon -
December 6th
Inside Llewyn Davis - A
The Last Days on Mars - C
Out of the Furnace - B+
Swerve -
December 13th
Here Comes the Devil -
The Hobbit: the Desolation of Smaug - B+
Hours -
Liv & Ingmar -
Nuclear Nation -
Tyler Perry's A Madea Christmas -
December 20th
American Hustle - A
Anchorman 2: the Legend Continues - D
Dhoom: 3 -
Her - A-
The Past -
Saving Mr. Banks - B+
The Selfish Giant -
Walking With the Dinosaurs -
December 27th
47 Ronin - B-
August: Osage County - B+
Grudge Match - D+
The Invisible Woman -
Justin Beiber's Believe -
Lone Survivor - B+
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty - B
The Wolf of Wall Street - A-
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
John Dies at The End (2013)
 |
| Forked Up |
Grade: B-
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Chase Williamson, Rob Mayes, Paul Giamatti
Director: Don Coscarelli
Writer(s): Don Coscarelli - David Wong (Book)
RT: 99 min
Rating: R for bloody violence and gore, nudity, language and drug content
Gangster Squad (2013)
 |
| The Squad and the Ale |
Grade: B+
3D: N/A
Easter Egg: No
Starring: Josh Brolin, Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone
Director: Rueben Fleischer
Writer(s): Will Beale - Paul Lieberman (Book)
RT: 113 min
Rating: R for strong violence and language
Friday, January 11, 2013
2013: My 15 Must See Movies!
The new year has arrived, and with it comes a crop of new films for me to hate! With all of the misguided children's films, remakes, sequels, and "Hunger Games", I know that I am going to have a lot to hate. So, I thought I would take the time to look at a few films this year that I hope to not hate so much.
15. Ender's Game (November 1)
15. Ender's Game (November 1)
I want to be more excited about this movie. It has Harrison Ford and Ben Kingsley. It has Asa Butterfield (the boy who stole my heart playing Hugo). It is based off of the Orson Scott Card novel of the same name. So why is this film not higher on the list? Writer/director Gavin Hood, that's why. This is the man who made "X-Men Origins: Wolverine". Do you remember how bad that film was? Of course you do! You're on imdb.com right now posting in its comments section! I'm going to call this a must see, but go in with very low expectations.
14. World War Z (June 21)
I'll be honest. I don't know much about World War Z, but with Damon Lindelof ("Lost") and Matthew Michael Carnahan ("The Kingdom") handling the script based on Max Brooks' novel, I'm curious. I'm also thrilled to see Marc Foster, director of "The Kite Runner" and "Stranger Than Fiction", taking up the directing duties. I've been a little weary of zombies as of late, but much like "The Walking Dead", this could help bring me back around.
13. Monsters University (June 21)
"Cars 2" was a disappointment and "Brave" was entertaining, but not Pixar quality great (I still gave it A because I like Scots and Bears). "Monsters, Inc." stands atop my list of Pixar's best with "The Incredibles" and "Toy Story". It was a magical film that captured my heart, and will have a special place there for a long time to come. Now there is a prequel coming out, and I'm not sure it will be near as great, but I'm willing to say that it is a must see because it has both of its leads, and its main antagonist, returning. So, hopefully this equals that, and doesn't start shaking my faith in Pixar to the core.
12. Oldboy (October 11)
After watching "Red Hook Summer", a wonderful return to form for Spike Lee, I'm ready to see him take on another big project like "Inside Man", his most high profile, and thrilling, film. This time he will be making the American version of the manga "Oldboy", the story of a man imprisoned for 15 year, with no explanation, only to be released to take his bloody, bloody revenge. Josh Brolin, Samuel L. Jackson, and Sharlto Copley
are in the cast, and Mark Protosevich ("Thor") are handling the script. Lee is one of my favorite directors, and I can't wait for this one.
11. Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (October 4)
I loved, loved, LOVED "Sin City". Robert Rodriguez continuously makes great popcorn entertainment, and I think the first film was among his best. I wish this film would have made it to theaters about 6 years ago, but if the main cast returning for the second installment means anything, I think I can forgive that. Joining in on the writing side of things this time is Oscar-winner William Monahan ("The Departed"), and joining the cast are Joseph Gordon Levitt and Josh Brolin, among some casting changes including Dennis Haysbert filling in for the late, and oh-so-great, Michael Clark Duncan. I can't wait!
10. Oz: the Great and Powerful (March 8)
Am I wrong to be excited about everything that Sam Raimi? HELL NO! Forget "Spider-man 3" (A film I'm still sure he tanked on purpose), and think about how amazing "Drag Me to Hell" was. Because it was! After 30 years of great film making Raimi is doing a fantasy film based on the work of the legendary L. Frank Baum. James Franco and three of the finest young actresses (Mila Kunis, Michelle Williams and Rachel Weisz) are heading the cast while Bruce Campbell and Ted Raimi are on the cast list (YAY!!!). Sadly we won't see the Delta 88, but I think this will a great film nonetheless.
9. 42 (April 12)
I love baseball. I love history. I love the history of baseball! Now Brian Helgeland ("L.A. Confidential", "Payback") is writing and directing a biopic about the great Jackie Robinson. Helgeland has cast a television character actor named Chadwick Boseman to play Robinson. more exciting than that is Harrison Ford playing the Brooklyn Dodgers' manager, Branch Rickey, who signed Robinson. This is two films with Harrison Ford this year. Thank you movie gods!
8. Elysium (August 9)
Finally! Neill Blomkamp is following up his surprise 2009 hit, "District 9". A film set in 2159 about a ruined earth, and the struggling masses forced to live on it, while the wealthy get to live off planet. Matt Damon and Jodie Foster are heading up a cast with some depth. This is the project I have been waiting for, and I hope that the social undertones speaking on class structure and the mistreatment of the poor are every bit as gripping as Blomkamp's allegory of South African apartheid.
7. Iron Man 3/Thor: The Dark World (May 3)
For all intents and purposes, I'm considering this two parts of one movie. The Marvel build up to last year's "The Avengers" got a little rocky at times, "Iron Man 2" and "Thor" being the rockiness, but Joss Whedon steered the franchise back on course, and "Iron Man 3" looks utterly fantastic. New director, and co-writer, Shane Black looks like he took a cue from Christopher Nolan, and is going dark and edgy with the franchise, and it has Guy Pearce in it! I have not seen a trailer for "The Dark World", but television director Alan Taylor is taking the reigns from Kenneth Branagh, and his work on "Game of Thrones" alone should give him enough credit to try to take on Thor.
6. The World's End (October 25)
I enjoyed both "Scott Pilgrim vs. The World" and "Paul", but Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost belong with each other. Their genre-bending madness has been the best in television and film for over a decade now. This story about five friends trying to recreate a pub crawl from twenty years earlier, only to become the best hope for man's survival, sounds like the kind of gem I need in my year. Did I mention it co-stars Martin Freeman ("Sherlock", "The Hobbit"), Paddy Considine ("In America", "Hot Fuzz") and Rosamund Pike ("Wrath of the Titans")? Well, it does!
5. The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug
I was terrified going to see the first installment of "The Hobbit" trilogy last month. It did end up on my must see list from last year, but what could you do with such a short novel over three films? I am happy to say that it turned out to be every bit as good as Peter Jackson's other trilogy. Now Watson (Martin Freeman) and Sherlock (Benedict Cumberbatch) are going to be going head to head in Lonely Mountain as Bilbo and Smaug. I really think that adding a talking dragon into the mix of an already awesome film could only make it better. Right?
4. Man of Steel (June 14)
I don't care what anyone says, I love Zack Snyder's work. "Watchmen" was a worthy adaptation that updated a few things for film that worked. "300" was exciting and engaging. So, there is more than a good chance that "Man of Steel" is going to be an excellent piece of work. He has a real knack at taking adapted material, especially comics, to a higher level, and making wildly entertaining films. On the other hand, as much as I enjoyed the failure that was "Sucker Punch", I realize all of its faults, and I just hope that he doesn't make the same mistakes.
3. Pacific Rim (July 12)
The man who directed the brilliant "Pan's Labyrinth", Guillermo Del Toro... swoon, is directing a film about giant monsters, known as Kaiju, and the giant robots that fight them. Del Toro is stepping into what I would essentially call Michael Bay territory, and I can't see him not knocking this one out of the park. The lead is also being played by Charlie Hunnam (Sons of Anarchy), who has some seriously impressive range, and Del Toro favorite Ron Perlman will also be in it. Let's hope this goes well.
It has been four years since the crew of the Enterprise last took to the final frontier, and I'm glad they took their time, because this looks amazing. J.J. Abrams rebooted the franchise with supreme gusto, and if this film is half as dark and foreboding as this trailer makes it look, it will be a worthy sequel. The cast is expanding in exciting ways as well: Benedict Cumberbatch (Sherlock), Peter Weller (RoboCop), and Heather Lagenkamp (A Nightmare on Elm Street). And what is happening in this picture?! This is seriously going to be a great summer kickoff!
1. Jurassic Park 3D (April 5)
I'm not usually a sucker for re-releasing films in 3D, BUT THIS IS JURASSIC PARK!!!! Dinosaurs! IN 3D! I must have seen the film at least 4 times at theatres in 1993, and I will shell out dollar after dollar to see it to see it at least 4 more times. I love Spielberg's groundbreaking adaptation of the Michael Crichton novel more than just about any film I ever have. If you are not excited about this, then you must have no soul, because this is easily one of the best films of the 90's. NAY! Ever made!
1. Jurassic Park 3D (April 5)
I'm not usually a sucker for re-releasing films in 3D, BUT THIS IS JURASSIC PARK!!!! Dinosaurs! IN 3D! I must have seen the film at least 4 times at theatres in 1993, and I will shell out dollar after dollar to see it to see it at least 4 more times. I love Spielberg's groundbreaking adaptation of the Michael Crichton novel more than just about any film I ever have. If you are not excited about this, then you must have no soul, because this is easily one of the best films of the 90's. NAY! Ever made!
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